lost to me- for L

She is lost to me,
Her eyes avert mine
And her body turns away
When I am close;
Her heart is but a barricade
All roads inside blocked off…
Now I must surrender
To this rolling tide,
The most of it my fault-
Love isn’t a word that comes
Easy to me
My heart’s been withdrawn,
Never understanding
how to adequately give…
And I linger now in the shadow
Of pain and regret;
My love an empty vein draining
Through a plastic sieve..
Oh how I wish it were some other way
And she might find it
Within her
to let go and forgive

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