Author: Erin Touponse

reiki master, poet, spiritualist, child of the stars


The storm shakes the sky filling silence with dread and deafening
No where left to run and hide
Instead I smile
I give into the powers who wish to take me
With love I release fear
Little spirits flash before my eyes
Mischief making and sparkling
Cold rain is a portent of things to come
A new decade filled with wonder and hope
The beings are singing tonight

Winter solstice

All is calm and silent
The moment holds me like a mother
Warm and safe inside
My heart has been healing
Opening and releasing
My sun- sitting in the middle of my body
Shines through
And my goofy love is spilling over
I am safe and secure
Inside this blessed moment
When all that is shines in alignment and grace
My pain takes voice and flight
Releasing into the void of acceptance
And transformed into the knowledge
Of my ancestors


This fear of the self.

My fear sits in my chest and tastes blue. It is like goo. It applies pressure on my chest bone and rib cages. The pressure makes me want to gag and my stomach turns. My jaw clenches as I grit my front teeth. My head gets heavy- my back develops stress points around my shoulder blades and my anger begins to rise.

Waiting for me

Continued silence and thought follow me
Bedridden and slow
Finding folly in thought
The silence holds promises
That fear is loath to uncover
Undiscovered bedfellows follow my step
And linger in my shadows
Until courage finds me again
And I see all that there is waiting there


Fear takes me and tightens my body,
Locks my jaw, sucks in my lips,
Chewing away at peace-
Anger always lurking in the shadows
Always ready to pounce
And fear smiles at me as she stings my heart
Over and over again
I sing and tap to remain present
But the roots of my pain run deep


Learning to shut doors, to shut thought,
To stop being right
And being quiet instead
Lessons in freedom
Releasing need for validation
For accolades
For worth
Anger residualized
Finds pain and hovers with it
Losing energy, dying away
Fear and incomprehension
I will miss this anger
For she has held me for so long


Betrayal, was like a fever within me
Always damp and lingering
A darkness that connected to my heart
And dampened sound until the
Mere act of beating was labored and silent
The fullness of this betrayal upon my heart
Crossed lifetimes, the fear so raw
The confusion eliminating all sight
And here now, attempting to heal now
I can at least see what has bound me so
To this pain, to this path
For in the forgiveness is the letting go
We must seek the truth to destroy illusion
We must see to understand
And I am no more that which took my breath
Than I am at all anything