Author: Erin Touponse

reiki master/teacher, poet, spiritualist, child of the stars

Illumination

Vessel filled with light
Illuminate the dark void

-So profound is this midnight
Wisdom hangs upon every breath
Pregnant with NOW’s deep-

Lost beneath the twilight
These eyes will not see
Without love’s golden breath

Within me- the fire kindles
And withdraws-

Illuminating my own darkness
Suffering eternal and connected-
Your breath and mine-
One vibrant chord

Release from the muck
And rise
From within- the ancient songs
Are singing-
Devastation now destroyed

I am not afraid

I am not afraid
I stand before this moment
Feeling the weight of it, the wave of it
Missing what I can no longer see
But rather sense lies beyond the boundaries
Of this heart
I am not afraid
Of walking with open eyes
Of feeling at great amplitude
For the fire that burns within the heart of the Mother
Burns within my own
Each breath, luminous and sacred
I am the wave, my body pounding upon the sandy coast
I am the stones churning, polished and smooth
The darkness within my heart has released like a new moon tide
Bare and beautifully prostrate
This heart enters the healing temple
To begin again
I am not afraid

Death becomes

The space is constructive
And the air is tight to breathe
My heart labors
As my vision begins to fade
Change is the precipitous
Of all that emerges from the dark
Squeezing from tight places
Death becomes a friend
I welcome release
Oh Pluto! Your eyes are upon me
And I fall beneath your grasps
Descending into darkness
Only to begin again

Connection

I am you and you are me
There is no better
There is no worse
Comparisons are illusion
The sun shines upon all who dwell
In this kingdom of consciousness

I have grown old
Died as a days old child
Been slaughtered
And sick
And taken my own life

We share the same thread
The same echoes
The same stories
Enter the dome of record
And all there is or ever will be
Float as starlight within the ether

Hearts connected by divine embrace
Through the network of energy
Signaling and lightening
There is no wrong or right
Just consequence and illusion

Step into the light and feel the truth

The call

Fear is an attachment
One must shine love upon that which it feeds,
The Golden light of love,
And illuminate it until fear releases

Your presence is required
Embrace the fullness of the higher self
Through the creativity of the child
Forgiveness is key

Imagination opens doorways
Into realms beyond
One must believe to enter
The Golden land is yours

The child in me writes now
As I sit in wonder at her innocence and beauty
There is nothing she cannot have
I am sorry this has taken so long

My heart radiates and I can hear the buzzing
This frequency is expanding
Those with ears to listen
Are heeding the call

Old dock tie

There’s a knot unfolding within me
Like an old dock tie
Or boat anchor rope
It’s covered in barnacles and filth
As it unties debris flies
In all directions within me
Releasing the oldest of sorrows and doubts
When will this barrage of the past
Quell? When will I find peace again?
The night is long and my breathe is labored

Awaiting sunrise

My heart, hangs low
Breath doesn’t move
I release my shoulders
To try and stop my head
This unending circle
Screams unheard and ignored
Pieces of me are falling
My inner child cries
And still I sit
Within my own darkness
Awaiting sunrise

Time & eternity

I am floating now
Between what was
And what is yet to come
And my entire being,
Enveloped in my own sin
And darkness,
Unapologetically compassionate
And wounded –
This heart, heavy though it may be,
Holds yet hope for a new day
Structured in forgiveness
Bathed in peace
And nakedly unabashed

Hold me as you would a child
For my soul is tired
And calls the name- beloved
Upon the winds of time
Without shame- all is not lost
Nothing remains but time
And eternity

Oh this heart

Heaviness hangs upon me
Like a dress, well worn and faded
My arms reach out heavenward
Grasping at the clouds
Gasping for air
Mercy hovers above me
Tho I cannot hold it-
At my feet lay bits of grass
And twig,
Pulling apart at the seems
I long to undress my body
And rest this weary mind
Fate knows no dalliance
And my feet command my heart
To continue, wounded and pained,
Lest this path curl up around me
And swallow my soul whole

Receive

old anger swims within,
storms are raging,
ancient wounds, ripping,
voices of what was,
gnashing,
neck and shoulders
buckling;
sinking now
into the void of shadow,

this small voice cries out
“Breathe deep my love
You will emerge yet”

I find no respite in the dreams
Just now
My heart is bound and stilled
My mind must play catch-up
So I linger here spinning
My face tense
My chest heavy

Triggered guilt
Resides within my breast
Unresolved feelings of lack
Embarrassment
Humiliation
Hatred
Pain
Defeat
Anger
Frustration
Doubt
Fear
Acceptance
Understanding
Forgiveness
Love
Release

I give what I am. Forgiveness lies in the intention
What is humiliation but a fear of judgement
Give up judgement and fear recedes. Forgiveness lies in the receiver
Receive forgiveness and be forgiven

The light is shining now
As the storm subsides
Leaving this heart a little lighter
Wounds healed through the deep
And my balance once again restored