Old dock tie

There’s a knot unfolding within me
Like an old dock tie
Or boat anchor rope
It’s covered in barnacles and filth
As it unties debris flies
In all directions within me
Releasing the oldest of sorrows and doubts
When will this barrage of the past
Quell? When will I find peace again?
The night is long and my breathe is labored

Awaiting sunrise

My heart, hangs low
Breath doesn’t move
I release my shoulders
To try and stop my head
This unending circle
Screams unheard and ignored
Pieces of me are falling
My inner child cries
And still I sit
Within my own darkness
Awaiting sunrise

Time & eternity

I am floating now
Between what was
And what is yet to come
And my entire being,
Enveloped in my own sin
And darkness,
Unapologetically compassionate
And wounded –
This heart, heavy though it may be,
Holds yet hope for a new day
Structured in forgiveness
Bathed in peace
And nakedly unabashed

Hold me as you would a child
For my soul is tired
And calls the name- beloved
Upon the winds of time
Without shame- all is not lost
Nothing remains but time
And eternity

Oh this heart

Heaviness hangs upon me
Like a dress, well worn and faded
My arms reach out heavenward
Grasping at the clouds
Gasping for air
Mercy hovers above me
Tho I cannot hold it-
At my feet lay bits of grass
And twig,
Pulling apart at the seems
I long to undress my body
And rest this weary mind
Fate knows no dalliance
And my feet command my heart
To continue, wounded and pained,
Lest this path curl up around me
And swallow my soul whole

Receive

old anger swims within,
storms are raging,
ancient wounds, ripping,
voices of what was,
gnashing,
neck and shoulders
buckling;
sinking now
into the void of shadow,

this small voice cries out
“Breathe deep my love
You will emerge yet”

I find no respite in the dreams
Just now
My heart is bound and stilled
My mind must play catch-up
So I linger here spinning
My face tense
My chest heavy

Triggered guilt
Resides within my breast
Unresolved feelings of lack
Embarrassment
Humiliation
Hatred
Pain
Defeat
Anger
Frustration
Doubt
Fear
Acceptance
Understanding
Forgiveness
Love
Release

I give what I am. Forgiveness lies in the intention
What is humiliation but a fear of judgement
Give up judgement and fear recedes. Forgiveness lies in the receiver
Receive forgiveness and be forgiven

The light is shining now
As the storm subsides
Leaving this heart a little lighter
Wounds healed through the deep
And my balance once again restored

Already free

My heart is throbbing
With discontent and worry-
Change lies within the 5s
Of my journey homeward,
And I suffer at the lack of progress
So filled with foreboding,
Anticipation and insecurity-
I watch my hands to know what to do
They lead me further into this puzzle,
Hoping for clarity,
Praying for illumination,
So the dark inside me-
The bits that cannot stand being brought
Into the light-
Might finally find comfort and respite…
Arduous heart! Do not falter for
My peace resides within your soft
And hidden truth
I am floating now upon the waters
Of my very existence
Trying to remember that I’m already
Free

Collecting

The wave has crashed
And the buildup of energy
Lies smote upon the sandy shore
What devils cured up within me?
Churning within my chaos
And now left like stones and shells
For me to collect
And categorize
And cherish
Upon the sandy expanse
Of my awakening consciousness?

Upon the wind

Long dark corridors
Rooms unlived in and unkempt
Opening doors long forgotten
Autumn’s air releasing

Songs are returning
As energy flows in
Breaking up the blocks
Rebuilding this heart

Silence marks the gravesite
Of what was
Letting go of desire
My hair flows freely upon the wind

this new day

The long night is giving way
And I can see now
The golden hue of morning
Waves lost upon my shore
Remember the salty taste
Of ocean’s breath
And my heart
Reunited with the words
Of my divine mind
Sings hallelujah both softly
And loud
The end of a long road
Has lead this body here
To bask now in the glory
of this new day

New day

The light returns
And the sudden jolt
Of illumination
Startles me
This heart- used to now,
The darkness of delay
And unknown,
Reaches out into possibility
While fear cowers
Having receded into the
Shadows within me
To gather herself-
The silence of waiting
Has given way to thunderous
Claps of movement and
Change
There is nothing left now
But to gather the shattered
Pieces together
And follow the light of
This new day