Tag: healing

lost myself

I wanted you to stop,
I wanted to scream it,
But my words got stuck in my chest
And just spun around there
In fury and in darkness,
Like a wound I couldn’t heal,
A scab I couldn’t pick-
This itch that screamed in pain
For lack
Making me sick…
It boiled over, blasting red hot rage
All over my breast
Lack of breath-
Stunted I sat enraged by this lack,
This hole,
This nagging pain with no voice,
Until it ate away at my soul,
Until there was nothing left of my joy
But remnants of your explosion…
I wanted you to stop
To scream it from the depths of my heart-
But my voice carried no wave
And I lost myself to the pain

june dew

Rape
Summer darkness on my face
And dew clinging to my back;
Your body, heavy, in my space,
Left the world behind me-
Like a bolt of red light
You shot through my peace,
Devastating what was left of me-
And alone, my naked body walked
In circles, stammering like a broken record,
As submissive pee ran down my leg

hidden inside

i found the door within my heart
and opened it…
words, without sound, ushered me
into this light filled space
and into the moment…
oh breath! you take me as a bride
on her wedding day-
your soft embrace, covers me
with a warm salve
assuaging my fears;
and as my body floats forward
a mirror glows, reflecting my soul…
in wonder and in praise i sigh,
for the love within this heart
is but a dim reminder of what remains
hidden inside…

winter’s cold

cold winds rip through these open windows-
full now of neglectful emotions that stir
just beneath the morning’s frost…
echoes of summer sun, warm upon my cheek,
find no repose within the chilled hallways of my heart;
now is the time to dive deep within what is lost
to find the truest form of me…
alone, lonesome, cold… a traveler with no home
but that which i carry upon my back-
there is no hope within the realm of winter’s bone
for flesh is stripped of illusion and what remains
is but a light, dimmed not by the cold,
but left to settle upon the altar of my heart

lost

The cavern in which my heart dwells
Is full of throbbing sadness
The reversed queen sits heavy upon
My shoulders as I try to forgive
And make right
And while the blood that’s spilled
Upon the walls of this cave remind
Me of things I still need to do
I try to let go with love
Each journey their own space
Mine, protected now by the source,
Circling magic; I remain heartfelt
And sad for what’s been lost

The coming of the winter solstice

Longest day approaches
And the pregnant sky prepares
For the birth of another sun-
Holy is the coming of light!
And the moon, full in her power,
Comforts the pain of new beginnings;
What is to come now that the darkness
Is pushed aside once again?
And what lingers in the shadows yet?
All is love as we find the new awakening
Of a new year
Heart and mind as one-
Between the inhale and the exhale;
The death and birth of change;
We grow inside this interface
And sing the ancient songs of praise.

regret

it’s a sad resolution
this end of year mess
this nightmare that has no waking relief
this wound that has no dress
i am but a sailor adrift at sea
i am but a boat with no anchor
floating invisibly
what will happen to this heart of mine
when the cold winter blows though
the tattered halls of what once stood strong
there is nothing left for me
there is nothing left to see
sorrow and regret dogging days
with cold remorse
and hate
and tears that fall as cold as frozen rain
oh life! you can be cruel, i know
and i am nothing more than a joke
drifting off the shore