Tag: pain

own

On the brink of turning this page-
As if inside a waking dream-
My wings, like a great falcon, spread
And my eyes see equally what’s passed
As well as what’s to come yet;
Buzzing music fills my ears with songs,
Past and future mix into swirls of color
And sound-
I dare not look too far down….
There’s nothing to be had by diving into
Flesh born falsehood
But more emotional pain,blocked by thought patterns
That grit and grind
So for now, as the chapter’s words turn
Like dusty pages of the book of soul-
I linger within the open sky,
Eyes turned inside,
Guided now by the vast expanse of own

regret

it’s a sad resolution
this end of year mess
this nightmare that has no waking relief
this wound that has no dress
i am but a sailor adrift at sea
i am but a boat with no anchor
floating invisibly
what will happen to this heart of mine
when the cold winter blows though
the tattered halls of what once stood strong
there is nothing left for me
there is nothing left to see
sorrow and regret dogging days
with cold remorse
and hate
and tears that fall as cold as frozen rain
oh life! you can be cruel, i know
and i am nothing more than a joke
drifting off the shore

for dead

Harsh words fall like icicles
Landing just near me, close to
My head, and this cold makes
Me wonder why you’ve taken to
Those things you’ve said-
My heart tries to remain open
But your indifference slowly leaves
My softness for dead
Oh light! When will winter’s darkness
Let you warm my lonely soul again?

Fuzzy visitor

It’s as if music in some far off
Distant place is playing,
And all I can hear are echoes
Ringing and buzzing within my head-
Oh! to hear this music presently
And to feel the deep sound…
My heart jumps in adulation of a
Celebration I am but a fuzzy visitor for

frozen castles

sitting in-between longing undelivered
and fear potently hovering;
my heart falls under the weight
of the water that sinks it so into despair…
turmoil plays with emotions in a cat and mouse
game of hate filled shame-
i could cry into the void that sits beside me,
though no words can puncture the depth
of nothingness that would swallow
my voice without remorse or effort…
lost, lost are windy summer days when
my dearest worry floated upon sun-swept
clouds perfumed with flowers and innocence!
this chill that grips me now, as i sink into
a self-made prison of cold, brings the darkness
alongside; asking me to worship the very
torture that cuts deep into my body
leaving nothing but blackened, frost-bitten
skin, and loneliness
with head in hand, and heart thrown up and left
to rot upon the floor of my soul,
solace is the only friend that can be found within
the quiet of misery of what is now
my frozen castle of anguish and pain

The other side

Whirlwind of pain and anxiety
Storm through this heart of mine
Dread and fatigue banish
Happiness as anger
Replaces the dawn with more
Red darkness
Alone and left without a shoulder
To lean my weary head upon
I sigh at the very thought of moving
In any direction
Save into more pain and despair
There’s nothing left to hold onto
As illusions of fate wash away
All that remains are shattered ruins
Of hopes and dreams and plans
While I await whatever decidedly
Waits for me now on the other side
Of all things

Darkness

My heart is drowning in black
Ooze, unable to breathe
It languishes and struggles
For air, oh life! You cruel cruel
Master, devouring my light
Releasing hope to the darkness
That now envelopes my spirit
And drowns the very essence
Of me
What can a heart do when it’s taken
From soul and left alone to
Search out safe passages;
Longing only to return back to the
Fire of home..
Lost to the darkness, muffled cries
Remain unheard as this heart
Beats without resolve
And I sink into the darkness
That’s taken hold