a more tender energy

my task now is to let go
say goodbye, good day, farewell
and let the universe
try to fill the empty spaces
with light

this calling of my heart
to understand the part i played;
my doing : undoing mixed
together- this flow…
i let go

heaviness sits upon my soul;
striving to be free from the
confines that bound it
to you- the links
back to me

i release all those things
i thought to know;
trying to make sense of
that which draws deep pain
within my soul

and with love, and on my knees,
i plead to the universe
to take that which i lost
and replace it with
a more tender energy

my last to you

You once asked me
if my feelings fade
and I told you my heart,
unlike the moon,
doesn’t wax and wane

I am constant…

I know your heart
and it’s need for change
and it’s unrelenting search for
that which destiny
Ordains

….Unconditionally always was a tall order anyway…..

relationships work two ways-
and a dose of honesty
between us was all
I ever needed
and would have cherished
all my days.

Alas… though, now all that’s left is to fade away.

a compass that points in one direction

Looking back now
I realize I held on too long
to the illusion of you
instead of seeing your
bitterly cold reality

Smoke and mirrors-
that’s your heart
and your truth
and what you leave
behind in your wake…

I feel such morose pity
for you-
Empty, suffering, lost-
A compass that only points
in one direction…

I wish I knew , what I know
before I launched myself
into your heart;
a fire I will not
recover from quickly

painful sorrow

There is just a sadness
That lingers on the flesh
Like dew
and it wont go away, or dry up
Or change into something new…

It just simply sits there
Moistly on my skin
Reminding me that I am
Not soft to touch
But slick and slimy…

And foul with painful sorrow

lost a friend

I lost another friend today
He was kind and funny
He was dark and morose
He was in love with our friend
For as long as I could tell

He fell into darkness..
I saw him when his collar bones
Stuck out so far from his neck
That they looked like skis
And his face bore the mark of death

I visited him by the beach
As he rid himself of the poison
That haunted his blood stream
And dreams.
I kissed him tenderly and cried

And tho I lost touch with him
He never left my heart
Or my memories
Of his laugh… or the goofy way he
Smiled

Find our friend now and kiss her
As you always longed to do
For she’s been passed over
Maybe waiting for you
My friend.

empty nest

I held a baby robin in my
Hand yesterday
Trying to lift it back into its nest

It’s heart was beating, mouth open
So full of frailty and life;
I waited to see mom return

Twice more she fell out of her
Poorly constructed nest
and twice more I lifted her back

Yet when I awoke this morning
The nest was empty
And a little body lay upon the mulch

Sadness within that empty nest-
As I watch the robin mother
Lament her fallen child

And I think of those empty
And poorly constructed places within my heart
That cannot hold love

And I too grieve for the loss
That lies within me
For that is equally as sorrowful

dissolution

~dissolution~

the flow of tears from my eyes
hasn’t stopped since you
told me the date of our
dissolution

I can not fathom that
all is lost now
and your arms will no longer
hold my fears

my heart is utterly lost;
sinking below the least of
places i have been
forging new uncharted pain

what is to become of a soul
so dark and hidden
that I cannot even
find it myself?