dear longing

~dear longing~

whatever is responsible for this longing in my heart
please stand and speak your peace

…i can sit quietly no longer

you wrack my soul with empty demands
and lost memories, and echoes of laughter

…what is this unease that seeks to own me?

what is the ache that pulls me so clearly back
to where i dare not go?

…this longing is folly

and i will not open my eyes to a future lined with regretful bones of past

i stand, with my head inside the light, and push forward
from the futureless wastelands of darkness that plague my spirit

suffering and emptiness search for me, hungrily,
ready to devour me with despair

… and yet, i am compelled… to close the loop of pain i have opened, with love.

perhaps one day, as time fades the wounds of the heart,
I can sit with you, dear longing, and share a smile.

dance of desire

~dance of desire~

dance of desire
you take me softly around the fire
And whisper in my ear.

Cool wind blows tales of long ago
My body remembering
Rises to be close

We move as one around the smoke
Eyes locked in a silent embrace…
Intertwined and divine.

….bodies mingled…..by souls sweet fire….

energy surges up from earth
And heaven’s hunger falls
Softly upon her

Winds, flush with energy, excite
the trees; quivering green leaves
stand at attention

Flashes of light explode into
Heavenly stars and darkness

…all is one…

turned

~turned~

my heart has turned, the door closes behind me
and while I cannot look, at this moment at the cliff on which i stand,
for fear of falling,
i will decide instead to step with faith…and remove my eyes

There is no freedom to be won, when the heart’s song
is already liberated from the shackles of the past;
and with adoration and love
i remove the binds that have kept me there…

While the slow din of clutter within me sheds
the noise of what has been,
i cry out for peace..for those who would not understand
and suffer at my hand…

i pray for love and understanding as i walk outside
in new clothes for the first time…
with fresh sight… ink and paper in hand…
to deliver my heart to its destination

attuned

I woke with a start; my body tingling,
i was not alone.. I felt others… they were inspecting
and tuning my chakras
i could almost hear them talking…

later i rose to the treelined mountain top
and saw just over the tops of the pines
i reached out an felt their light in my body
glowing sunset yellow, orange and green

my eyes turned and i had eagle sight
i aimed to rise up into the clouds
but memories held me back…
and fear of loss….

from my hands flowed a network
of roots and braches
down into the earth
where I fed her deep energy

i kept hearing.. raise the vibration…
and as i lifted my heart, higher and higher
i could feel the energy around me grow
light filling all space

green tears of rain

~green tears of rain~

Dark green tears of rain soothe
my heart
Burning still from the bolt
Of fiery pain set down upon it.

….I do not blame…
I only wish to heal that which is mine

So with deep healing tears
I try…
And Gaia gives me love inside
As I wash away the still burning fire

releasing with love

She is the mountains;
The flow of streams….
Her essence- immovable
…stoically

And of her heart-
There’s but one key;
tossed to the heavens
…faithfully

Inside the earth- souls green heart
remains true-
Waiting for eternity
…to set it free

undone….

caught in-between the folds of
what is real and what is illusion,
with the weight of responsibly upon me,
my heart sits and refuses to beat
any longer…

conflictions…of fire and concrete…
line my face, my breast, my legs
i cannot move, or speak or feel
i cry out for release from the pain
and the longing of my soul

…to be free….

you, who are my light, my knight
my love- in my life
i fear what you bring to me
and what i could be with you
and i am lost to despair

for those who depend upon me
and those who feel they know me
and those who believe they love me
for those that need me
…I cannot bring pain

i cry out for release from this sorrow
and yet it grips my heart so
that i cannot breathe
life holds no color without you
life holds no meaning without heart

i am shattered, and lying bare on the
floor… without hope.. without light…
without the beating of my breast
and the golden love
inside me…

my heart is fallen to the floor
and i don’t even want it anymore….