~judgement~

when all is stripped away
there is nothing left but that
which lingers underneath

pain and fear once hidden
by uncertain smiles, and beguiling
thoughts of truth

are now laid bare for all to see;
the taste of metal haunting
the heart with bitterness and cold

as bottom falls through top,
the world turns upon its axle,
shifting all that is known into not

and i linger here too
awaiting truth to find my soul
and set it free from such dark misery

there is nothing left for me here
but to find the fate that draws me
near; and receive my judgement

i’ve given up everything to find myself
and yet…
i still know not where i am….

I keep repeating the same mistakes
thinking i might be found within another…
within easy eyes… and lies

Yet, this longing that pulls me
from what is safe… from that which i know…
it launches me to new heights

so i let go….

over and over again
i leave what i understand
to find something that will help me grow

but i am tired now of waiting
and praying… and suffocating

This fire fills my heart with rage;
Such uncomfortable energy!
It’s lighting all the shadow
sides within me.

I watch the blaze as it Engulfs me;
My heart, raw with pain and deceit,
Settles into the fire with pleasure.
While she waits for the whys… and why nots

This anger is but more fuel
To sustain me while I heal
From the scissor cuts across my heart
Made by one who got in.

I sit in wonder… the innocence that
Draws me to my own nature
Is also that which is taken
By those who need too much

And I long for connection with those
Who could understand me
So I keep opening up
Only to close again

Such is the cycle of life
And loving is too great now
For me.. so will linger about
On the edge of things

And wait

How was i so sure
about everything you said?
How did I allow myself
To go down that rabbit hole

Yet again?

The feeling of touching magic;
Of believing that it can find you
Keeps pulling me back
To this same spot

Yet with different players
And different outcomes
Because I’m older…
…and wiser
…and grounded

Still though I’m here…
Laying down my fortune For a chance to touch the stars

Even though I thought I found
My place in heaven;
I understand, that has yet to come,
For I have more work to do yet.

~bride of angel~

i linger there, you smell my hair

my spirit in your hands
you open me, fervently
ravishing my soul

my body would gladly fade away
to spend a day within your embrace
sweet angel who falls to me
…to set me free…

my body is yours to deface…

my longing bleeds upon my soul
for your power divides within me
and in the darkened marriage bed
i give myself completely.

~Loneliness~

This loneliness lingers
within my heart. Not longing;
but a deep and venerable ache…

Life’s push and pull,
like moon’s sweet embrace,
Turns me inside out;

And I am left holding my own light
Within my own dark night….

-Yet I cannot ask that which is not mine-

So I linger quietly and watch
as each petal upon the flower
my heart resides falls silently to the floor.

And within the shadow of my
Solitude, I learn that I must embrace
That which lies within me more

~dear longing~

whatever is responsible for this longing in my heart
please stand and speak your peace

…i can sit quietly no longer

you wrack my soul with empty demands
and lost memories, and echoes of laughter

…what is this unease that seeks to own me?

what is the ache that pulls me so clearly back
to where i dare not go?

…this longing is folly

and i will not open my eyes to a future lined with regretful bones of past

i stand, with my head inside the light, and push forward
from the futureless wastelands of darkness that plague my spirit

suffering and emptiness search for me, hungrily,
ready to devour me with despair

… and yet, i am compelled… to close the loop of pain i have opened, with love.

perhaps one day, as time fades the wounds of the heart,
I can sit with you, dear longing, and share a smile.

~dance of desire~

dance of desire
you take me softly around the fire
And whisper in my ear.

Cool wind blows tales of long ago
My body remembering
Rises to be close

We move as one around the smoke
Eyes locked in a silent embrace…
Intertwined and divine.

….bodies mingled…..by souls sweet fire….

energy surges up from earth
And heaven’s hunger falls
Softly upon her

Winds, flush with energy, excite
the trees; quivering green leaves
stand at attention

Flashes of light explode into
Heavenly stars and darkness

…all is one…