Another day

Armor falling
The space between
Lit now by burning fires
Remains dark
The sun has not yet risen
As metal and leather
Thump upon the ground
I could wonder where you went
Left upon that battlefield of pain
But I would rather think you flight
Upon wings of rain
Loss cannot enter
It’s just a transmute
And I will fight another day

End

My heart aches
With an unrelenting sorrow
An unyielding, forever present
Tension that cannot be soothed-
Drowning within its own blood
Each breath a deeper silence,
A further falling,
My heart cannot even cry out –
Failing I cannot even left my head…
Ancient pain stabs and stops
It lingers and laughs
“I am nothing without you”
I whisper to the echoes
That line the past
But nothing comes for me
Or takes my bloody hand-
Alone upon this time I linger now
Waiting for it to end

alone

the darkness of my home
sounds so empty today
as if the birds have left their branches
and taken shelter in another-
i think and dream
of more, of what could have been,
of what is yet to be-
i am lost today, adrift within my
own deep
wondering where the lightness
flew away to-
my heart aches for that which
i do not even know
as signs of love enter my dreams
and vanish just as quickly-
who is guiding me
with this painful encouragement?
and why are these arms
still cold with despair?
i am swimming in a sea of darkness
and devouring my heart
with this nothing that i feel-
when will the light return
and sing to me of faith and hope?
when will my arms not feel so cold?
when will i finally see the face of truth
and set myself free from these chains
with which I have bound my soul
to this plane; alone….

this lonely heart

Loneliness sounds so loud
Echoing through these chambers
Of my heart
Longing resides within the empty corners
For something more than silence
For light to shine through the darkness
For smiles to replace pain
Would that I could take away your suffering
Would you hold me again?
Would you cover me in your golden
Voice and soothe this ache?
Lifetimes I wait
But now, As I peer upon your prison
Your dark retreat
I know healing requires distance
And I am but a leaf on a breeze
So I will flow upon the winds of time
With faith that all will be safe

walk with me

The bridge connecting the inner realm
to the outer world is glowing-
Alive with golden energy
We are invited now to walk upon
The golden boughs
And transcend the limitations
Of time and space-
Through the inward expansion,
And guided by the thread of breath
And hope and love,
We arrive at a place not unlike
What was
But far more melodious
In color and shape-
All that has ever been resides here
All possibility and outcome
Free from the shackles of place and time
Our body flows upon the embers of
All that is-
It is time to raise voice and sing
For a new dawn awaits those who listen
Free from suffering, balanced in acceptance
Guided by compassion
We raise our hands in unison
And companionship,
A fellowship and sisterhood,
Blessed and kissed by hand of the king
Embrace your divinity- walk with me

Rosie

here i sit across from my rosie
from the killer who rang through
my heart last night
wrenching light
until i could understand something
bigger
this poor love, a dog
who has her own nature,
who has her own set of rules to live by-
she shook me with her brutality,
with her base nature
and as I heard the cries of the poor
creature i which she died
i was brought to tears
by the ferocity
and vulnerability
and just here now, she lies near me
trusting and loving
sleeping with a low hum of breath
and i am still reeling from the
thing… the death
that visited my ears, echoing
within me deeply
we are all animals
we are all creatures of destruction
and vulnerabitity
the lesson lies within the balance
of truth and honesty
as brutal in nature as can be

sound of death

A light was activated
As tiny explosions sent my heart
Into meltdown
It was the sound of death
That still clings to me
The vulnerability
The deep carnal fear
Darkness cannot cover that sound
The final gasps of potential
Lost to dust now
Deep trauma energy
Circled and climbed
Within me until shaking
I could not hear or speak
Surrounded in pain and anger
I just sat and sat
Still I’m waiting for some deeper clarity
My sweet dog didn’t mean
Her cruelty upon whatever
Lingered in the darkness of the garden
But within me she opened
Such ancient suffering
And now I sit with her actions
Her instincts
And pray for understanding

alone

I stand alone upon this cliff
my toes, dig into dirt
as the grass tickles my feet
I am alone
with nothing left but my own will
with nothing but the resolve
of my heart
I do not dare sing
or weep
for the land is slowly drifting
beneath me
and sky shadowing things yet
to arrive
This is a fallacy, this truth
these lies
there is nothing but me
and the dirt
and the grass tickling my feet
and the sky
I am that I am
I am nothing and all
I am full and empty
I am alone

Three elders

Stretching and straining
To hold it all in
The seams are coming undone
And all that lingers still
Within me is considering mutany
Three elders watch silently
As the expanding fear
Pushes against my fillings-
And while I know the future,
Not yet visible,
Is of no concern for me-
The tightening of my chest
And the pulling of my seams
Is uncomfortable yet-
Grandfathers show me another way!
Still the silence and speak!
I am listening for your clarity,
I am drowning beneath my own
Uncertainty and doubt-
Tokens from dreams line my pockets
And my heart begs for release
From these times
Truth be told- this journey is one of hope
But not for me

Ancestors and Divine

Swimming in a lake of fire
Flames- orange, red and blue
Surround me
Full of faces and voices-
The water, tepid, not boiled
Soothes my face and body
As songs of old play lightly
In the background of my mind-
What insight will greet me
As I flow under the depth and wave?
I give myself over to the flames
Becoming stripped of all I am not
Risen to, through, a light more kind
And forgiving
I learn to listen with my eye
As my heart translates the pain
Until understanding is burned
Again into this consciousness
And I free myself to dive
Into the wisdom of my ancestors
And divine