(this retrograde)- karma

it’s dark and heavy-
the fires that were burning
are all but out,
and I am left listening
to the sounds of the wild
just outside-
my heart is breaking,
literally shattering,
shards of glass falling
and then reforming
only to break again…
the sounds of such danger lurking
within my heart, i am sobbing-
a thousand times dead
only to reform the circle
and die again…
this is a hard road
this clearing- of all that’s been-
my bleeding hands
cannot take any more-
shattering pieces just fall
at my feet
waiting for release
why do I keep picking them up?

my heart is screaming with agony-
it will not bend,
it will not give in-
i am lost to the yelling,
the constant bitter lament-
why do you plague me so,
dear heart,
leave me alone
and I will walk away
but you will follow me i suppose
so i remain
trapped inside this loop of
bitterness and pain
who comes to save the savior?
there is nothing left to wash away
it’s only after this storm is passed
that I will get any sleep at all

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