Category: meditation

(this retrograde)- karma

it’s dark and heavy-
the fires that were burning
are all but out,
and I am left listening
to the sounds of the wild
just outside-
my heart is breaking,
literally shattering,
shards of glass falling
and then reforming
only to break again…
the sounds of such danger lurking
within my heart, i am sobbing-
a thousand times dead
only to reform the circle
and die again…
this is a hard road
this clearing- of all that’s been-
my bleeding hands
cannot take any more-
shattering pieces just fall
at my feet
waiting for release
why do I keep picking them up?

my heart is screaming with agony-
it will not bend,
it will not give in-
i am lost to the yelling,
the constant bitter lament-
why do you plague me so,
dear heart,
leave me alone
and I will walk away
but you will follow me i suppose
so i remain
trapped inside this loop of
bitterness and pain
who comes to save the savior?
there is nothing left to wash away
it’s only after this storm is passed
that I will get any sleep at all

Loneliness

It feels like ages
since I could see the sun-
Living in this darkness,
Surrounded by animals that linger
In the shadows,
Fear waits beside me
And for now I have her wrapped
In my arms-
But this road is so lonesome
And I am feeling like not pushing on-
When will the heaviness
Leave my lungs?
The whispers, my heart?
To taste free air again!
I am wasting away
In this wasteland of pain
Begging for clarity
And receiving none

To rejoin myself

Your voice has carried upon time’s
Glowing flame
Distant echoes of pieces
Words and whispers
Images of bread and soda
That linger now beneath breath
Times cushiony dew, piling
Lifetimes until it’s all just haze
Your part of me has been still
And imprinted in collective memory
Missing links tie me back to you
A longing to rejoin myself

Another day

Armor falling
The space between
Lit now by burning fires
Remains dark
The sun has not yet risen
As metal and leather
Thump upon the ground
I could wonder where you went
Left upon that battlefield of pain
But I would rather think you flight
Upon wings of rain
Loss cannot enter
It’s just a transmute
And I will fight another day

End

My heart aches
With an unrelenting sorrow
An unyielding, forever present
Tension that cannot be soothed-
Drowning within its own blood
Each breath a deeper silence,
A further falling,
My heart cannot even cry out –
Failing I cannot even left my head…
Ancient pain stabs and stops
It lingers and laughs
“I am nothing without you”
I whisper to the echoes
That line the past
But nothing comes for me
Or takes my bloody hand-
Alone upon this time I linger now
Waiting for it to end

alone

the darkness of my home
sounds so empty today
as if the birds have left their branches
and taken shelter in another-
i think and dream
of more, of what could have been,
of what is yet to be-
i am lost today, adrift within my
own deep
wondering where the lightness
flew away to-
my heart aches for that which
i do not even know
as signs of love enter my dreams
and vanish just as quickly-
who is guiding me
with this painful encouragement?
and why are these arms
still cold with despair?
i am swimming in a sea of darkness
and devouring my heart
with this nothing that i feel-
when will the light return
and sing to me of faith and hope?
when will my arms not feel so cold?
when will i finally see the face of truth
and set myself free from these chains
with which I have bound my soul
to this plane; alone….

this lonely heart

Loneliness sounds so loud
Echoing through these chambers
Of my heart
Longing resides within the empty corners
For something more than silence
For light to shine through the darkness
For smiles to replace pain
Would that I could take away your suffering
Would you hold me again?
Would you cover me in your golden
Voice and soothe this ache?
Lifetimes I wait
But now, As I peer upon your prison
Your dark retreat
I know healing requires distance
And I am but a leaf on a breeze
So I will flow upon the winds of time
With faith that all will be safe