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hope

so thankful
blessed
forgiven
loved
reunited
faithful
all these things
dropping in
fullness from
my heart
as my face
peers into
the vast
abyss with
hope

revenge

i wear hate like a weapon, tied
at my waist
consuming each step with depth
and purpose
would that I could burn this absurdity
to the ground, and dance upon
the ashes of what remains
with laughter on my voice
and darkness in my heart
oh anger, my deepest ally
my darkest asset
this stirring creates such pain
within my soul
and yet, i cling to you now as breath
to a newborn child
as revenge weighs heavily upon
my chest

just a joke

just a joke
my face, my heart, my untethered
fleeting fate;
the folds of time that keep
this flame burning;
this life in its entirety…
just a joke
flying, falling, burning, rising
all just the same boring
proposition that leads
me back to the same place
within the heavens-
so why are these tears still
falling?
there’s nothing left to fear
as all that was, is ripped from
me…
i am no more
but a joke to behold
i thrive on the falsehood of
my illusions
and tie my heart to a failing
sun and waning moon

smote upon the ground

i am sometimes unwell…
i sometimes suffer at the hands
of mental abandonment,
and when this force of logic
is untethered from my reality
i am destined to crash
after i fly;
broken bones, shattered emotions,
chaos around me
burning all i’ve built to the ground
as i fall into a deeper darkness…
cycles of my mind swirl
like falling leaves within a tunnel
of whipping wind;
impossible to follow;
ripping at the frayed edges of soul-
until all that was, ends up smote
upon the ground

into the light

oh! this heart, so full with the
fear of pain, it closes
behind the borders of a false
wall; pretending to be protected…
pretending that it’s unaffected
by the storm that only grows
outside and behind;
how illusion blankets false
hope for freedom-
leaving unresolved, troubled storms,
emotionally brewing;
hiding from your soul’s torment;
afraid of shadows that cross the room;
constant worry blocking, building, punishing
until death implodes
and steals away the freedom to decide
to hide-
and all that could have been disappears
again into the light

sanity

lost… lost… this mind
is lost to the echoes
calling me backwards,
dragging me to some
inane spot of time
that lingers in the backdrop
of painful memory …
unwilling to be released
and fighting against the hands
of time that slowly click
away the moments of morality,
this heart suffers at the sword
of thought that refuses to let go,
and will not give in …
this unending tug of time,
that cannot release the soul
from suffering,
weighs with each tick
a little heavier
upon the chest of my sanity

maybe

maybe i remember the low,
cold feeling of concrete
where i lay, sleeping…
maybe i remember how the ground
felt under my feet as i made
my way through tunnels of pain
to end up in that same place…
maybe i remember the room
and the peeling paint and the
ripped wallpaper as i stared into
the distance pretending
that you cared and i was safe…
maybe i remember how you left
that day- as if i was trash to be
thrown away…
maybe this bent mind would rather
forget you and that place and the
broken pieces that linger still
behind my face