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just a joke

just a joke
my face, my heart, my untethered
fleeting fate;
the folds of time that keep
this flame burning;
this life in its entirety…
just a joke
flying, falling, burning, rising
all just the same boring
proposition that leads
me back to the same place
within the heavens-
so why are these tears still
falling?
there’s nothing left to fear
as all that was, is ripped from
me…
i am no more
but a joke to behold
i thrive on the falsehood of
my illusions
and tie my heart to a failing
sun and waning moon

smote upon the ground

i am sometimes unwell…
i sometimes suffer at the hands
of mental abandonment,
and when this force of logic
is untethered from my reality
i am destined to crash
after i fly;
broken bones, shattered emotions,
chaos around me
burning all i’ve built to the ground
as i fall into a deeper darkness…
cycles of my mind swirl
like falling leaves within a tunnel
of whipping wind;
impossible to follow;
ripping at the frayed edges of soul-
until all that was, ends up smote
upon the ground

into the light

oh! this heart, so full with the
fear of pain, it closes
behind the borders of a false
wall; pretending to be protected…
pretending that it’s unaffected
by the storm that only grows
outside and behind;
how illusion blankets false
hope for freedom-
leaving unresolved, troubled storms,
emotionally brewing;
hiding from your soul’s torment;
afraid of shadows that cross the room;
constant worry blocking, building, punishing
until death implodes
and steals away the freedom to decide
to hide-
and all that could have been disappears
again into the light

sanity

lost… lost… this mind
is lost to the echoes
calling me backwards,
dragging me to some
inane spot of time
that lingers in the backdrop
of painful memory …
unwilling to be released
and fighting against the hands
of time that slowly click
away the moments of morality,
this heart suffers at the sword
of thought that refuses to let go,
and will not give in …
this unending tug of time,
that cannot release the soul
from suffering,
weighs with each tick
a little heavier
upon the chest of my sanity

maybe

maybe i remember the low,
cold feeling of concrete
where i lay, sleeping…
maybe i remember how the ground
felt under my feet as i made
my way through tunnels of pain
to end up in that same place…
maybe i remember the room
and the peeling paint and the
ripped wallpaper as i stared into
the distance pretending
that you cared and i was safe…
maybe i remember how you left
that day- as if i was trash to be
thrown away…
maybe this bent mind would rather
forget you and that place and the
broken pieces that linger still
behind my face

venerable hell

within the gates of pain that lock
my soul to the post of past transgressions
i pay this penance for that which was
altered when the sun shone, and the moon
was ripe with strawberries and songbirds…
would that i release this soul to find the freedom
that dogs it so, yet apology’s song sounds
weak when presented upon winter’s
cold blow, now nothing but pain remains
within the heart that lingers still upon
days past, haunted by that which was
already accepted as fate
and drawn down into the cold entrance
of a venerable, indefatigable hell

darkness

legs running, feet upon pavement,
pounding, thumping, throbbing,
excitedly moving to get away
from that which haunts silent
footsteps, darkened corners
shadows that linger-
following, falling, cackling
there’s no distance that can
divide the space between
no amount of escape
can split the horrors of the heart
from the worries of the mind
so the spirit runs, feverishly hoping
to find solace in the lingering nothing
that becomes the darkness
that we all must face

autumn

a dark shade of gray
hovers in the heavens
as clouds, heavy with rain,
dance with the blowing wind…
this moment of song,
blusters and spins-
each breath, a cold exhale,
leaving nothing of summer
but colorful memories that
linger now
as detritus upon the ground

ties transcending

i can hear your voice
floating upon the folds
of time
whispering words of love-
as your fingers sweep my
cheek; your lips my neck…
and my heart reaches through
the space between
to find your willing body
pressed against mine
as separation fades into
forgotten space-
thoughts touching,
hearts beating,
skin alive with the touch
of fate…
our souls bound
by ties transcending

sweet sanity

it’s a dull ache that sets
this heart apart from
the longing that dogs it so-
and what is longing, but realizations
of lost things, from long ago…
oh, how does the soul travel
so alone, through time,
just to find this ache,
a cold wind, only meant to blow?
and no recovery of love
will ever replace the hole
that lingers now upon
the edges of heart’s
sweet sanity;
lost to time, and this beating thought,
and the distant pain,
that coldly flows…