I can no longer hold the waters
Of what was; as they flow down
My eyes, my breast, my legs
Memories sparkling in the droplets
Now settling at the place where
My feet once lay
The sun will dissolve my pain-
The earth, drinks now from the puddles
Of my past
Oh drunken day! You offer me nothing but
The moment now, this present in which
This poor heart remains
Tag: love
Undertow
Drowning in the waves of my own mind
My body is pulled under over and over again
Unable to breathe, my lungs are full
Of these thoughts and spinnings-
Darkness fills my head as my eyes
Grow black with uncertainty and hope
Oh! Though I cling to these raging thoughts
they do nothing but bring me
Further under
Further down into my mind’s soft abyss
Lost to the undertow of my own making
I’m struggling to find the sun again
All is darkness and I am all
Go
My voice is hidden below
Cushions of noise and judgements;
Like a rose caught beneath Earth’s
Dark surface I cannot grow.
The voiceless noise is deafening
And anxious thoughts of sunlight
Shining upon my frozen heart
Take such control-
Deadening noise, suffocating darkness
These words fall short of color;
A picture too eclipsed to flow-
I am clinging to a thread of sweet sanity
As I choke upon my own soft songs,
That I cannot sing, oh begone! And woe!
Suffering beneath the weight of my own illusions,
I linger with despair and hope
Balancing my own energy inside this darkness,
Until time rip me from this hell
And I can let my sweet voice go.
Essence of me
The stillness covers me
My being- Naked and glowing-
Rises to her touch
To her silence, as she invades the darkest
Corners of me
My heart, opening as dew drenched petals To her light,
melts away upon her breath
Whispering soft nothings to me
How I long for her, urge my being towards her bosom, to her legs- now wrapping upon me
Like a soft climbing weed, swallowing the very Essence of me
Not Enough
Fear clings to me
This damp shade of doubt
That lines my thoughts and actions
Blurring the edges of my vision
Until there is nothing left to hold
This fear echoes
I am not good enough
Thin enough
Smart enough
Gifted enough
To follow my dreams and wishes
Oh how life lingers so
Waiting for me to come clean
Of this damp and clinging darkness
All and none
The fullness of dawn just after
Moon’s bright glow
Reminds flowers that spring is here
Warming hearts simmering
Slowly transforming what was
Into what is now known
Particles of peace flow about my eyes
Trying to collect golden rays in a
Bottle to hide
Oh Fireflies!
There’s no tomorrow, save for today
And I let go, losing myself to the changing
Tides…
Colors washing over
Until nothing remains of what was
Until my rainbow is awash with all
And none
Claim myself again
My heart is dripping-
Drop after drop, just spilling
Pain and wonder onto the floor
At my feet…
Where has joy run to?
Hope is but a four legged fool
Running ragged amidst the spring flowers-
And what of me? This spilling, drip-drop,
Keeps me up at night….
In darkness I wander,
In darkness I cry, alone,
wondering why
The light is gone from my eyes
And the breath from each beat
Of my heart
Spilling more onto my legs, my feet,
Down these eyes
Until I cannot take anymore…
But each day, the sun will rise, I suppose,
In spite of me-
And I will greet the day
Wet with the night, with tears from
This heart of mine
Until I can claim myself again
Darkness
Heaviness sits upon my chest,
This breast, difficult to breathe,
Like darkness is washing over-
Deep waters drown out my certainty-
This suffering lingers yet, loudly sobbing,
Tears, too tired to fall, simply whimper
Within the folds of my eyes
And my mind, this crazy bitch of a mind,
Growls at the night
Howls at Fate’s perceived cruelty
As I try to find the light that would end
This darkness within me
Lo that I could remain a mountain
Beside the torrents of my mind
And the whipping winds that scream my name
Memory
My kingdom is calling
The stars have decided it’s time-
Trumpets line the streets of my home;
As this carriage guides me back…
Time is but a resilient friend
Echoing truth and lies,
Peace and strife,
Passionate longing and oh!
Time’s soft kisses lodged within my
Heart
Take the darkness that seeks me
To a damp hole where I can lay
Underneath this star laden sky
And count my memories
Blue
Quiet blue lingers between us-
Disappointed blue; masking all the pain-
A sea of aching blue;
Without words the suffering calls my name….
Latching my breast, suckling joy and light-
Feeding, hungry, so malnourished….
This hated blue: steel, cold, beckoning-
Holds me, and locks me in…
There’s no breath to be found
….Or light-
You’re endless blue is calling me
Your head sinking as your arm comes up
For help
Would that I could save you
And me
From this suffocating blue-
But you’re swimming in your own ocean
And I am but a small speck upon
A distant shore
the SIBYL'S SONG 