Tag: home

within my heart

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i dug a hole…
the soil was so dark and wet
and i could smell the damp earth
as it clung to my fingers, my clothes
my knees…

perhaps someday, I might lie down
inside this muddy hole and let
the world drift by… though i hold no false
hope that i might find peace

should endings be that easy! i could
simply drift into the rain swept sky
releasing myself into the arms of
my own eternity!

alas, i remain here still, covered now
in this musty earth, listening to the slow
drip of time echo within the walls of this hole
that lingers so within my heart

violent and exquisite

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alone, with just this downpour of
thought- and thunder! breaking the sky!
i am silent and hopeful, as i try to
remain untouched by the rain that falls
in sheets so heavily upon my mind…
and though the violence of this storm
is blinding, i am ready to cleanse the
heart of that which it has long denied!
deny today, i will not, yet find that which
is more useful to my heart, a cleansing touch
of acid rain to rid this chest of
all that was left behind…
these thoughts of you! may they drown
upon the puddles of my spirit
collected within my mind’s eye…
as the thunder clouds that grow within me
clear your essence from my memory
in a most violent and exquisite way

love’s door

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love hangs loosely at my door-
the scent of which I can smell
lingering in the air just outside;
and i long to run to it
disappearing within the trails of
soft perfume…

but that my heart is slow to move
for fear of what might hover
near the vulnerable parts of me…
laid bare by love’s intense passion-
my soul’s nakedness may be too much
for my poor heart to endure-

should love’s affection lead to rejection-
my very essence would be destroyed…

so I linger here on the edge of the
doorway-
hoping for a sign of fidelity
that would allow me to pass through
the sweet aroma of love’s call
and find that which is joy within me

slow roam of memory

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slow roam of memory
floating on an endless sea
bobbing aimless and lonesome-
lost to the moonswept tides
and windy breeze
these wanderings
not empty but void of depth;
voiceless and lacking solvency

oh! that these small specks of remembrance
might swell into a vessel that might
bring back what’s lost to me!

adrift at sea
my heart cannot find
the hope that lies hidden
within the ramblings of forgotten time
and though I search the vestiges of
my mind to materialize what’s been lost
there’s no hiding the unseen loss
of this vacancy

would you go mad?

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if we were all quiet,
just for a moment, the world
silenced… no words…no sound-
save that indescribable
white noise of buzzing energy…
would we hear the call of
our soul from within the ether,
and but for a moment,
find within it our own song
that might make clear our purpose
and release the banter that
drives us so to distraction?
or would we suffer at the empty
silence, grasping at the air for
release from the pain of nothingness
that would grip the heart, stripping it of
that which keeps blood flowing?

if but for within that single moment
when the world shut down all sound
would we find ourselves or
go extremely mad?

pricked and beautiful

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spent time in my garden
now my hands are lined
with marks from thorns-
roses and raspberries
red and bleeding,
tracks left from nature’s
mighty protection …
i feel the lingering pain
and think of my heart throbbing
shredded and raw like my hands
from the love you gave me-
pricked and beautiful-
but so hurtful

overgrown

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it’s just an emptiness that fills
the broken space within
darkness takes root in the cracks
and grows strong
soon these weeds will overrun
my garden
leaving no space for purple balloons
or forgetmenots
for low riding phlox or baskets of gold…
and i lack the strength to continue pulling
grasping at the never-ending tend
for the darkness is rooted within
so deeply that there is no
shovel that could dig out these roots
of overgrown memory

slow drip of time

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the restless ticking of an unrelenting clock
takes the quiet from my mind, as these
thoughts hover, thick as humidity,
upon my skin
with no distraction from the doldrums of
decency, i waited for you,
in the naked heat, so that you might liberate
my soul from the pain-if just for a short time-
but you never came
and I was left staring into the slow drip
of time…

sorrow

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i have nothing left within me
to move forward
my head is swimming in images of the past
and my heart, cowers in the corner..
I am desolate, if that’s a word that can be used
to describe the utter lack of anything
that from me, slowly broods
I am nothing.. can’t you see that?
I am but a bird, lonesome, with a
broken wing… left behind
rewind… wait… did i leave or did you leave me?
I am so confused…
sinking down now, into what’s left of my
mind, i sigh… because there is nothing
left within me, but sorrow….

dark obsession

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this uncontrollable fire
burns today without regard
for what I desire-
it’s like the flames i carry within
my heart have a mind of their own…
and my body is left in the middle
trying to control the slow burn
of my longing soul
why do you taunt me so?!
you who hold the key to my
eternity, spirits own lonely
companion down this forsaken road…
would that I cut you out of my destiny
if you would only go, but still you linger here;
my heart’s dark obsession, passion’s fiery glow