Tag: desires

white noise

This window fan, in the darkness,
sings a sweet melody
of white noise to me tonight….
As cars fly by outside,
splashing the new fallen puddles of rain
collected from the storm that just passed,
I think of how cleansing the lightening was
to the heavy, dull air…
Wondering now, perhaps, when my own
storm might come to free me from the heaviness of my own heart.

covets

I have a darkness
that runs deep within me
buried like a well
to feed the pain inside;
The deepness runs through
space and time
securing my fears back
beyond this life…
And I linger here now
trying to make sense of this darkness
that covets me so

seems to me

it seems to me
that every time i look for myself
i get caught staring into the mirror
of another
as if their eyes are deeper than mine
as if their lips are fuller
and their lines are finer
and I wonder why the reflection
that is my own
is not enough for me

snake oil

You rode into town
on a beautiful white steed
and promised me the stars-
packed neatly in a bottle
of snake oil
And I bought it from you…
the cost was my heart-
which I paid to you quite generously

to touch the stars

It’s still dark yet- not quite dawn
And I can hear the song birds
Getting ready for the sun
And I know that you, well, you’re gone
It’s okay…
you weren’t really all that real anyway
More of a tune I made up in my head
A longing that you filled
Inside my heart- a sweet desperation
To touch the stars

deep and venerable pain

There lies just beneath my smile
A deep and venerable pain
That I can’t explain, or wish away-
I try to escape, into ideas and words
that might distract my brain,
But it’s always there, waiting for me
Like an ache that won’t release,
A knot in my chest with no relief,
So I sit here and pretend that
It’s all okay
It’s just a deep and venerable pain.

magician

I loved a man desperately
and that desperation made
me believe that truth was illusion,
and illusion truth.
A slight of hand, and my complicit
willingness to disbelieve
what lay right in front of me,
burned my soul to ash.
Beware of magicians who come
dressed as ordinary men.

sunlight

Just outside the door I linger now,
around a dirty plastic table;
my face lifted and opening towards
warm golden sunlight rays,
thinking on better days, in hopes
that the warmth might lift
my darkening heart from those thoughts
better left unspoken…

Would I linger here within
this logical maze of happiness
and health, or rather choose to sink
into that which I know hungers for me?
I am called towards your vampiric energy…
you who drain my soul instead of set it free-
may the sunlight be constantly reminding
that I am whole and unbroken…

poison

its just a loud silence that fills
the space between us;
a buffering of sound to keep
sweet words away from eager ears

words that one so longs to hear;
oh! inciteful flames that could
give rise to reality’s destruction
fueled yet, by lies and alibis,

you do no good when the words
you drip, like honey, are poisonous to
touch, and more damaging when
ingested into the blood