cold

cruel is not a strong enough word
for that which my heart finds
capable; some might call me
cold- though within this chest flows
something more than ice-
it’s an emptiness that cannot be
described…
and yet i try to love, i do, with the
limited warmth i have within me,
there’s just no loving a cool cool
darkness…. it’s like breathing in space
i would take your breathe away and then
explode your lungs into tiny slivers of
frozen stone
best to leave it alone…. i can’t even
stand myself.

ashamed

this cold heart feels nothing-
hidden behind walls of shame
and disdain
it lingers only to see the suffering
that mirrors it’s own
and the disgust it feels for weakness
is only matched by the disgust
it feels for itself
there’s nothing to be gained
by trying to love a thing as cool
as death itself
it’s cruelty knows no end
for it matches that which it knows…
ashamed

rivers

tears rolled down the mountain
cutting a way through trees and
debris
as if an unstoppable pain forged
these snaking rivers…
and the stars watched in disdain
as the birds sang in the distance

what if?

what is left when you remove the
sun from the sky?
do stars provide heat to comfort the soul
or are they just cold light shining
in darkness?
would the moonlight hold such sway
if the burning sun were not
her mighty foil?
am i anything without you?
oh! to be rid of these ponderous thoughts
that plague my mind so…

notes of love

oh! these notes of love
written with invisible ink
travel through time and space
searching out the heart that might
have the eyes to read
what is etched upon my soul

just an echo

empty halls at dawn echo thoughts
back to my heart like a drum
pounding into place all that was
left behind…
sound bouncing off bare walls
these feelings that hover in the distant
places of my soul
would that i grab them in my hand
and within my palm hold them
close so as to understand how they
became just an echo

slow roam of memory

slow roam of memory
floating on an endless sea
bobbing aimless and lonesome-
lost to the moonswept tides
and windy breeze
these wanderings
not empty but void of depth;
voiceless and lacking solvency

oh! that these small specks of remembrance
might swell into a vessel that might
bring back what’s lost to me!

adrift at sea
my heart cannot find
the hope that lies hidden
within the ramblings of forgotten time
and though I search the vestiges of
my mind to materialize what’s been lost
there’s no hiding the unseen loss
of this vacancy