Category: shaman medicine

Receive

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old anger swims within,
storms are raging,
ancient wounds, ripping,
voices of what was,
gnashing,
neck and shoulders
buckling;
sinking now
into the void of shadow,

this small voice cries out
“Breathe deep my love
You will emerge yet”

I find no respite in the dreams
Just now
My heart is bound and stilled
My mind must play catch-up
So I linger here spinning
My face tense
My chest heavy

Triggered guilt
Resides within my breast
Unresolved feelings of lack
Embarrassment
Humiliation
Hatred
Pain
Defeat
Anger
Frustration
Doubt
Fear
Acceptance
Understanding
Forgiveness
Love
Release

I give what I am. Forgiveness lies in the intention
What is humiliation but a fear of judgement
Give up judgement and fear recedes. Forgiveness lies in the receiver
Receive forgiveness and be forgiven

The light is shining now
As the storm subsides
Leaving this heart a little lighter
Wounds healed through the deep
And my balance once again restored

alone

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I stand alone upon this cliff
my toes, dig into dirt
as the grass tickles my feet
I am alone
with nothing left but my own will
with nothing but the resolve
of my heart
I do not dare sing
or weep
for the land is slowly drifting
beneath me
and sky shadowing things yet
to arrive
This is a fallacy, this truth
these lies
there is nothing but me
and the dirt
and the grass tickling my feet
and the sky
I am that I am
I am nothing and all
I am full and empty
I am alone

Three elders

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Stretching and straining
To hold it all in
The seams are coming undone
And all that lingers still
Within me is considering mutany
Three elders watch silently
As the expanding fear
Pushes against my fillings-
And while I know the future,
Not yet visible,
Is of no concern for me-
The tightening of my chest
And the pulling of my seams
Is uncomfortable yet-
Grandfathers show me another way!
Still the silence and speak!
I am listening for your clarity,
I am drowning beneath my own
Uncertainty and doubt-
Tokens from dreams line my pockets
And my heart begs for release
From these times
Truth be told- this journey is one of hope
But not for me

Hope

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Hope rides on wings of light
The sound of trumpets guiding
Gliding she lifts my hand-
“It will be alright”
Her singing flows within my head
As birds build their nest beside me
All that’s lost returns
After what was- is dead…
Shadows of memory pass lightly now
as the light returns again

Possibility

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Time here is clicking away
Each movement and ending
And a new beginning
Yet within this heart
I hear the eternal roar
Of a fire lit beyond time
Beyond the constructs
Of click click click
And within this fire
I bathe my soul
For within the eternity of
Timeless flames
I lose all that I thought I was
And dance with possibility

Be the lighthouse

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Be the lighthouse

Dark heavy energy
Finds peace within me
I embrace it and challenge it
I swallow it in one breath
And release it as light in the next
I am a converter
I lighthouse of change and compassion
I am a guide and a host
I am the beginning and end
I swallow shadows
And release light
I embrace fear with love
And free it from its own bindings
Until balance returns

Be the lighthouse
Transmute fear into light
And heaviness into joy
Eat darkness so you may become
A beacon of shining hope
Peace is found in the wisdom of balance
Return your being to the eternity of the NOW
And there you will find me
Cultivating energy and holding Space
As light-workers embrace their soul’s call
To freedom

But a tune

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the light is returning, though within me
the lingering darkness yet gives way
deep within the basement of my being
lies traumas and truths
i linger with them, finger them, try to love them
yet there is no embrace that will salve
the throbbing loss that exists yet-
my heart, given over to the shadows
of threat and dis-ease
steadily remains unfazed
like liquid with a soul, she flows…
yet above her, sitting in wait
watching the sky shift colors
and the moon dance within her growing
shrinking, changing nature
I realize that i am but a tune in this song,
i am but a word, blown across this plane
waiting to rejoin what i remember before
the suffering took hold in darkness
and my body retreated to the void
of simply being human….

Betrayal

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Betrayal, was like a fever within me
Always damp and lingering
A darkness that connected to my heart
And dampened sound until the
Mere act of beating was labored and silent
The fullness of this betrayal upon my heart
Crossed lifetimes, the fear so raw
The confusion eliminating all sight
And here now, attempting to heal now
I can at least see what has bound me so
To this pain, to this path
For in the forgiveness is the letting go
We must seek the truth to destroy illusion
We must see to understand
And I am no more that which took my breath
Than I am at all anything

Both sides

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Went to the upper world
Entered by climbing a golden glowing rope
Into the clouds- into the sky
My eyes were greeted with golden geese
Walking past me like little women
And I ran into an old woman
Covered in a glowing cloak
I asked to understand more about me
She laid me down and felt my darkness
Released the dark, the heavy
I got scared
I saw people covered in dark hoods
Walking to war
I was scared of them and felt a part of them
And she told me to accept the darkness
That was my journey
I sat with the pain and anger the fear
For a time- trying to let go of the fear
Trying to let it all float away
Both sides, both sides are me
And the drumming changed
And I didn’t want to go
But I left because I needed to go home