quiet this mind-
this disease that’s spread
from room to room
within me…
tumor’s growth suffocates my
silence
demons dance upon my heart
laughing and joking…
as if my despair isn’t
pitiable enough- i am thrashed
by a mocking song of soul
that lingers upon my
shoulders like a wrath
skulking, sullen and cold
i am lost to the changing tides
of torment
and i don’t even know why
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starlight dimming
expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
unknown fear
the uncertainty with which
my feet step
line this path
with beating breast
and reflux…
alone with thoughts of what
may come
i hope for release from
this bellowing fear-
unknown possibilities
reflect back to me as I linger
at home waiting
for future’s tomorrow to take me
an empty plate
staring at an empty plate
not sure what to do with it-
the longer i look at the clean
appearance
the more i want to drown it
in food
and forks
and I long to taste what might
cover the soft flowers
and devour that which lines
the center
and oh, perhaps you too
might undress yourself so quietly
so i might cover your outer corners
with sustenance and longing
you are my appetite
fueled and filled and quieted
by sweet resolve
in the rain
I remember sitting under the bridge
In the rain
Your body pushed against me
As we smoked
The scent lingering on your lips
As we kissed
I felt alive next to you
And would have lost
Myself to your deep body
If you let me
oh great life!
Light blue sky
Flashes in my mind
As the strong winds of springtime
Air out this dusty heart…
And the open windows of my soul
Collect sounds of songbirds
Within the walls
And even the photographs
Are smiling…
What release can remove the darkness
Of the past and replace it
With such warm light?
Oh great life! Though I’ve doubted
Your love
I know you’ve always been just outside
Waiting for me to welcome you
on a walk
bees hover just so slightly
over the waving grasses dotted with
small white wildflowers swaying,
breathing, as the wind blows…
and these giant feet of mine
are careful not to step upon a bee
or butterfly
and disrupt the flow of this
waving dancing ecosystem…
just a giant walking
as the air sweeps my hair back
and hips sway
prison of mind
I dug a hole
The soil was dark and wet
I could smell the musty earth
Under my fingers, on my clothes
Covering my knees..
Perhaps someday I will lie inside
This muddy hole and let the world
Drift by… though I hold no false
Hope for me..
Oh that ends could be so easy!
I would drift into the rain swept sky
Releasing all the world ever taught
Me to believe
Alas I’m still here, covered now in
This musty earth, waiting for a time
When my heart, strong and hard,
Might deign to release
Me from this prison
Of mind
nature’s beauty
there’s a dead leaf
that hangs onto this summer
plant;
brown and wilted
it clings
in contrast to the red and pink
flowers growing near-
yet still, through this
transparent death
soft wind quietly blows…
and with rays of sunlight
it dances and glows
how wondrous a transition!
even in death, nature’s
beauty grows
sorry i am
i could tell you again
how sorry i am
for the demons that still
walk my dreams
and line my head…
i could tell you again
that you’re not to blame
for all of this
heartache…
that broken pieces of the vase
in which i store my soul
are lying at my feet-
and when you step-
you cut
and bleed…
i could tell you again that i am sorry
for it all….
but i don’t think you can hear me
anymore
the SIBYL'S SONG 