Tag: truth

A darker foil

It’s been so long since I’ve been without
this knot in my throat and this dread in my mind…
Black, menacing, waiting,
Just sitting there reminding me that Anger is close by:
Feeling me, urging me closer to it,
so that I cannot speak or hear or cry….
This bloody clot that won’t move,
binding my voice with something
stronger than magic…

Suffocating! My heart yearns for the open air and the sun-
Within darkness my being has sunken,
and within Anger’s cage I dwell now-
Lost amidst fear, and confused joy;
Wandering in the darkness- blind and feverish,
My words act out without wisdom or thought,
but in defense of a darker foil….
I am the mistaken soul who sunk willingly
into Anger’s dreadful water-
And drowning now my heart cries for
breathe and air.


Drowning in the waves of my own mind
My body is pulled under over and over again
Unable to breathe, my lungs are full
Of these thoughts and spinnings-
Darkness fills my head as my eyes
Grow black with uncertainty and hope
Oh! Though I cling to these raging thoughts
they do nothing but bring me
Further under
Further down into my mind’s soft abyss
Lost to the undertow of my own making
I’m struggling to find the sun again
All is darkness and I am all


There is nothing my soul wants more
Than to find peace
Though peace, comes with a price-
Grand and precious
My heart is unfolding from the origami
Shape I had secured it into
And now flat out and bare
I can read the lines that were written
Upon it
Oh lack! You silly friend… you come to remind me
What I don’t have
While my blessings circle overhead
Singing sweet songs
Just look up! Why would you keep your eyes
Glued to a purpose no longer your own?
Oh Day! You challenge me to breathe into
These changes with grace and love
How I dislike your direction
How I would linger within the stillness
Of my own ignorance instead!
Yet my breath, still flows in and out
And I am but a walking beast
Attempting to fly

Waves and rain

Tapping rain, buzzing and clapping,
Softly blowing, singing and dancing-
This heart is a forest flowing
Hidden beneath tree’s canopy
A melody of music and sound
And me! What do I deserve to be
Hidden underneath these strong leaves
Opening my soul would drown,
This joyous water flowing through me,
Yet, my eyes remain fixed upon the sky
The moonlit blue of early morning
Just a shade of the moon and I;
Forever falling into myself again and again
I pray for a depth I yet have not found
So I linger now, beneath the waves,
The leaves and rain,
Waiting for answers I know are mine

A dead bee

A dead bee stung my foot today
Awakening me from reverie
And prayer
It ached and surprised-
Realizing this fate of flying,
This fear of letting go,
Echoes scream my name in dream-
To open up and awaken what’s mine!
I hide, and this sting-
open eyes-
screaming my name-
a supernatural remind-
To stop and listen and let go of what
Is no longer mine….
Oh king of bees, your sacrifice!
But a little thing lying in wait for me
Supremely divine


My voice is hidden below
Cushions of noise and judgements;
Like a rose caught beneath Earth’s
Dark surface I cannot grow.
The voiceless noise is deafening
And anxious thoughts of sunlight
Shining upon my frozen heart
Take such control-
Deadening noise, suffocating darkness
These words fall short of color;
A picture too eclipsed to flow-
I am clinging to a thread of sweet sanity
As I choke upon my own soft songs,
That I cannot sing, oh begone! And woe!
Suffering beneath the weight of my own illusions,
I linger with despair and hope
Balancing my own energy inside this darkness,
Until time rip me from this hell
And I can let my sweet voice go.

Essence of me

The stillness covers me
My being- Naked and glowing-
Rises to her touch
To her silence, as she invades the darkest
Corners of me
My heart, opening as dew drenched petals To her light,
melts away upon her breath
Whispering soft nothings to me
How I long for her, urge my being towards her bosom, to her legs- now wrapping upon me
Like a soft climbing weed, swallowing the very Essence of me