expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
Like heart shaped clouds floating by
You and I were simply passing
Touching softly in the summer
A piece of your white air
Linked inexplicably to mine
As we floated on
And I let you go as you moved along
On your way to some other destination
Rainbows I found within you-
And the formation of dark storms
But I always kept a bit of your cloud in mine
As memoirs of our fading
I can hear you whispering to me
Over the folds of the wind
Sending heavenly dowry-
Of things that had been
lifetimes ago, when you and I
were still true
and the universe conspired
to see love through…
Alas, now we are but an echo,
that I can only hear
when the wind blows or in my dreams
It’s still dark yet- not quite dawn
And I can hear the song birds
Getting ready for the sun
And I know that you, well, you’re gone
It’s okay…
you weren’t really all that real anyway
More of a tune I made up in my head
A longing that you filled
Inside my heart- a sweet desperation
To touch the stars
I turned my head and saw the marks
On my neck, where you once fed
Though I’m not dead
I hang on yet…
Holding this thread of reality
Between my fingers
Grasping the last bits of
Reason… and trying to make sense
Of why willingly
i accepted your feeding
now that i can see
the secrets that in front
of me have dangled
Softly
i am free to love more fully
with the understanding
that what was, while not real,
still held lessons for my soul,
to help me grow, into
the person i’m meant to be.
You once asked me
if my feelings fade
and I told you my heart,
unlike the moon,
doesn’t wax and wane
I am constant…
I know your heart
and it’s need for change
and it’s unrelenting search for
that which destiny
Ordains
….Unconditionally always was a tall order anyway…..
relationships work two ways-
and a dose of honesty
between us was all
I ever needed
and would have cherished
all my days.
Alas… though, now all that’s left is to fade away.
Looking back now
I realize I held on too long
to the illusion of you
instead of seeing your
bitterly cold reality
Smoke and mirrors-
that’s your heart
and your truth
and what you leave
behind in your wake…
I feel such morose pity
for you-
Empty, suffering, lost-
A compass that only points
in one direction…
I wish I knew , what I know
before I launched myself
into your heart;
a fire I will not
recover from quickly
What is this hold upon my heart
that keeps me tied upon this throne
of the past?
What creates within me this desire
to remain steadfast
even in the face of logic?
What is it about you, dear one,
that locks my feet in place
refusing to move away from you?
I long to know your secrets, and what
you could possibly have to bind me
so to your spirit…
I will linger here, but a while longer,
in hopes that all will be revealed
and clarity show me the way.
If not for this ringing in my ear and
the longing in my heart
I would not understand a thing
the SIBYL'S SONG 