acid running through my mind
trying so desperately to hide
from the things you did, from the ledge
i stood, from the place i slid
from the callous use you made of me
the way you took, and i couldn’t grieve
because i didn’t know
that you were wrong, i simply believed
that it must be me
so I took the drug, and hid from all
the unhappy memories
i set up walls, and bridges to fortify me
but it didn’t work, and i was lost
and i’m still reeling from the lack you
caused…
Tag: spirituality
darkening sky
it was a 2am party raging
while you slowly took me outside
the grass was cool and i could
feel the dew on my back
you didn’t really give me reason
and besides, i was too high to understand,
though i closed my eyes for just a moment
and you were there, on top of me,
and before i could scream
the pain billowed out
and there was nothing I could see
but the darkening sky
will you?
Do you love me enough
to wait for my broken mind
to mend?
Do you love me enough
to decide to start over,
try again?
Do you feel for me like you used to
even when the storms
rage within?
Will you choose to love me
Until the end?
a lucid dream
I was pushing a carriage
down the road
The bright yellow sun
bounced off black pavement
Such that a silver film glowed
almost that the ether was breathing vibrancy
And me I was in control
my heart and mind together
a continuous flow
Like a brighter reality
I ran with one hand
Pushing this carriage down the road
seems to me
it seems to me
that every time i look for myself
i get caught staring into the mirror
of another
as if their eyes are deeper than mine
as if their lips are fuller
and their lines are finer
and I wonder why the reflection
that is my own
is not enough for me
duality
the quiet in my mind
is only matched by the
screaming of my heart…
I long for the day when the duality
that lies within my soul
be replaced by a singular
self acceptance
snake oil
You rode into town
on a beautiful white steed
and promised me the stars-
packed neatly in a bottle
of snake oil
And I bought it from you…
the cost was my heart-
which I paid to you quite generously
river
There’s a river of forgiveness
that resides just within
my mind’s eye;
I can see it
as it peacefully flows down
to soothe my heart
from the fire you left behind
to touch the stars
It’s still dark yet- not quite dawn
And I can hear the song birds
Getting ready for the sun
And I know that you, well, you’re gone
It’s okay…
you weren’t really all that real anyway
More of a tune I made up in my head
A longing that you filled
Inside my heart- a sweet desperation
To touch the stars
deep and venerable pain
There lies just beneath my smile
A deep and venerable pain
That I can’t explain, or wish away-
I try to escape, into ideas and words
that might distract my brain,
But it’s always there, waiting for me
Like an ache that won’t release,
A knot in my chest with no relief,
So I sit here and pretend that
It’s all okay
It’s just a deep and venerable pain.
the SIBYL'S SONG 