Drowning in the waves of my own mind
My body is pulled under over and over again
Unable to breathe, my lungs are full
Of these thoughts and spinnings-
Darkness fills my head as my eyes
Grow black with uncertainty and hope
Oh! Though I cling to these raging thoughts
they do nothing but bring me
Further under
Further down into my mind’s soft abyss
Lost to the undertow of my own making
I’m struggling to find the sun again
All is darkness and I am all
Tag: spiritualhealing
Beast
There is nothing my soul wants more
Than to find peace
Though peace, comes with a price-
Grand and precious
My heart is unfolding from the origami
Shape I had secured it into
And now flat out and bare
I can read the lines that were written
Upon it
Oh lack! You silly friend… you come to remind me
What I don’t have
While my blessings circle overhead
Singing sweet songs
Just look up! Why would you keep your eyes
Glued to a purpose no longer your own?
Oh Day! You challenge me to breathe into
These changes with grace and love
How I dislike your direction
How I would linger within the stillness
Of my own ignorance instead!
Yet my breath, still flows in and out
And I am but a walking beast
Attempting to fly
Waves and rain
Tapping rain, buzzing and clapping,
Softly blowing, singing and dancing-
This heart is a forest flowing
Hidden beneath tree’s canopy
A melody of music and sound
And me! What do I deserve to be
Hidden underneath these strong leaves
Opening my soul would drown,
This joyous water flowing through me,
Yet, my eyes remain fixed upon the sky
The moonlit blue of early morning
Just a shade of the moon and I;
Forever falling into myself again and again
I pray for a depth I yet have not found
So I linger now, beneath the waves,
The leaves and rain,
Waiting for answers I know are mine
A dead bee
A dead bee stung my foot today
Awakening me from reverie
And prayer
It ached and surprised-
Realizing this fate of flying,
This fear of letting go,
Echoes scream my name in dream-
To open up and awaken what’s mine!
I hide, and this sting-
open eyes-
screaming my name-
a supernatural remind-
To stop and listen and let go of what
Is no longer mine….
Oh king of bees, your sacrifice!
But a little thing lying in wait for me
Supremely divine
Go
My voice is hidden below
Cushions of noise and judgements;
Like a rose caught beneath Earth’s
Dark surface I cannot grow.
The voiceless noise is deafening
And anxious thoughts of sunlight
Shining upon my frozen heart
Take such control-
Deadening noise, suffocating darkness
These words fall short of color;
A picture too eclipsed to flow-
I am clinging to a thread of sweet sanity
As I choke upon my own soft songs,
That I cannot sing, oh begone! And woe!
Suffering beneath the weight of my own illusions,
I linger with despair and hope
Balancing my own energy inside this darkness,
Until time rip me from this hell
And I can let my sweet voice go.
Not Enough
Fear clings to me
This damp shade of doubt
That lines my thoughts and actions
Blurring the edges of my vision
Until there is nothing left to hold
This fear echoes
I am not good enough
Thin enough
Smart enough
Gifted enough
To follow my dreams and wishes
Oh how life lingers so
Waiting for me to come clean
Of this damp and clinging darkness
Claim myself again
My heart is dripping-
Drop after drop, just spilling
Pain and wonder onto the floor
At my feet…
Where has joy run to?
Hope is but a four legged fool
Running ragged amidst the spring flowers-
And what of me? This spilling, drip-drop,
Keeps me up at night….
In darkness I wander,
In darkness I cry, alone,
wondering why
The light is gone from my eyes
And the breath from each beat
Of my heart
Spilling more onto my legs, my feet,
Down these eyes
Until I cannot take anymore…
But each day, the sun will rise, I suppose,
In spite of me-
And I will greet the day
Wet with the night, with tears from
This heart of mine
Until I can claim myself again
Memory
My kingdom is calling
The stars have decided it’s time-
Trumpets line the streets of my home;
As this carriage guides me back…
Time is but a resilient friend
Echoing truth and lies,
Peace and strife,
Passionate longing and oh!
Time’s soft kisses lodged within my
Heart
Take the darkness that seeks me
To a damp hole where I can lay
Underneath this star laden sky
And count my memories
Concession
Within the darkness of my heart
I heed the words, whispered
So lightly, so quietly-
Calming, and stopping and deep;
Expanding into green and blue
My eyes wander through folds
Of time and space
Searching for those answers
That elude the waking self..
Would that I could lose myself
To the changing tides, rolling in and out;
To the spring wind, releasing hidden flowers;
To the darkness that could take me
Elevate me, joining me to divine..
Such that i am, mortal yet, in this life
I linger just on the edges of this divide
Hungry for concession
Inner Child
Smiling so big, so bright
My love returned to me
From the darkest corners
Dusty and hopeless
She emerged, frightened
Confused, unsure
And I held her hand as she healed
From the pain
And she joined me at my throne
In my temple
Beside my heart
Smiling now, she giggles
I can hear her footfalls echo
With laughter
The return of me! How blessed is
My heart, my soul, my very being?
For her return signals an end to night
the SIBYL'S SONG 