Tag: spiritualhealing

this maze

So much lies between
me and love
So many secrets that I keep
from myself
Barriers of self betrayal
line the rooms of my house
dividing any chance for sleep
for peace, for love to find me…
And though I cry out lost in
this maze of my own undoing
I am not strong enough to knock
it down


I am sadness
bottled in an attractive wrapping,
manufactured by the highest pain,
handled with the least care…
and yet still you find me
filling and healing, and loving-
you! the salve of my misgivings,
sorrow and suffering…
you! who pick up my broken pieces
even after my shards make you bleed…
somehow you still find a reason
to protect and ingest all of me


looking through the shattered lens
of a broken and fallen heart
i see prisms of color
where the light enters in
and i wonder at the joy rainbows engender…
even when sadness seems to have no end

lightening bugs

There are lights on the porch
across the street-
I can see them glowing outside my window,
reminding me of lightening bugs
I used to try to catch
as they flashed through
childhood summer evenings

Oh the cruelty of youth!
bottling up such wondrous bugs
so that they might lighten up
the darkened places within my soul-
Alas, nothing of that light remains
as I stare nostalgically
down and across the road
at electric lights that softly glow


I tried to patch the hole
from which the slow leak
of my joy softly dripped….
But the tape didn’t seem
to want to hold
and I was left with the bitter
tannins that collected at the
bottom of my heart

Today was a desperate clawing
at restlessness
that would not subside
and there was nothing
left for me to find
but this lonely emptiness
that coated my heart
with residue


what longing i had for you
is outmatched by the emptiness
i feel within my heart…
for it’s not your absence that
causes me harm
but rather your presence-
lingering- that haunts
my waking steps

this lack

this lack that i feel in my soul
cannot be filled by you
though I have tried to pour
the sweet words of others into it
to see if that might hold

rather, this void, was created
long ago- a mere reflection
of a longing never filled,
a wound never healed,
a seed never sown…

and the more i hide, the more i know
that i am the one holding
the mirror against myself
fueling the hole, reminding me
that I am just not enough…