Tag: spiritualhealing

one step at a time

i am so scared
of finally learning the truth
of what lies inside me;
these memories fail-
recall doesn’t work and I try.
the mystery of my heart
it’s eating me up inside
i’m hiding like a child-
stuck in a closet with no door-
this maze of forgiveness…
hallways of my childhood
dark and scary, I run
and close my eyes…
anger blocks the way forward
still I try… one step at a time

two sides

peace what’s peace
but a false lie about what
we should have if we tried harder-
there’s no quiet…
the walls of the room are closing
around… chest tight throat closing
the sound of guitar masking the pain
feeling like a child on a rainy day
sun shining breeze through my hair
smile on my face
but what’s to be done when darkness
comes knocking at the door?
i run to answer it knowing that it’s an old friend
greetings and hugs- we get down to business
i’m simply sitting at odds….
two sides of me at once
peaceful happy smiling face and darkened brooding inside me

this heart

as the day slowly wanes
and sunlight softens behind
the clouds that cooled the heat
with welcome rain I think of
what my heart would say
if she could speak in a manner
i could fully understand
about our past together…
would she feel warm like I do now
under cover of billowing clouds
or would she hate, like I’ve learned
from pain…

i think my heart might like to sing
because my soul tells me that she’s
an actress

cold void

oh how I wish for some distraction
from the loneliness of my heart…
but all the pretty flowers have been plucked
and the baby birds fell from the nest
into the mulch
and all that was glorious about the sun
leaves my skin burned and aching…
so within the cold void I linger now
waiting for my secrets to bubble up
because nothing stays hidden forever
when the quiet has silenced all else

back to you

obsessive and unnatural-
the curves of thought
spiraling into dirty depths
of diseased memory, that link
back to you

dark and twisted passion, engraved
by a tortured tool, remain etched
within the walls of souls-
writing that predates first breath
and solvency

and these violent acts of love,
tied forever back to your touch,
remain within twisted fingers
bound by string- always
leading back to you

prickly throne

these thoughts sit upon a prickly throne
uncomfortable, unsteady-
full of insecure reason as memories
shade the past with hues of gray

bestowed with a crown of disbelief
and touched with lunacy
these pitiful thoughts demand attention
as rabid emotion kneels in disdain

the garden

pulsating numbness and sweat beads
running down my chin;
the yard needs some tending
but I cannot seem to find the strength
to finish-
flowers everywhere mixed with weeds
and my heart spinning…just thinking
of what was said
though the dark nights are over, the waking has just begun…
So I will linger in the shade just a little longer
And then get back to the garden