Tag: spiritualhealing

what will be left of me?

songbirds weave a tapestry of
sound across the morning
as sunlight penetrates the leaves…
a cool breeze lightly tiptoes across
the growing heat
and cars sound as ocean waves flowing…
in the distance dancing with birds are
the trees-
and sirens pepper the landscape
with urgency…
day is breaking on yet another morning-
breath flows within me like a sage
i am no longer living
but rather coming of age…
is there anything that can dull the pain
of slowly dying? at this rate
i will be gone before the songbirds
finish singing
and what will be left of me?


it’s just an emptiness that fills
the broken space within
darkness takes root in the cracks
and grows strong
soon these weeds will overrun
my garden
leaving no space for purple balloons
or forgetmenots
for low riding phlox or baskets of gold…
and i lack the strength to continue pulling
grasping at the never-ending tend
for the darkness is rooted within
so deeply that there is no
shovel that could dig out these roots
of overgrown memory


afraid to love you
fragile and special
like China you are to me
and I’m too rough to keep
you safe
i fear you might break in my hands
because i don’t know how to hold
my heart stays hidden from you
lest my darkness transfer…
you are so very special to me


i felt the energy of the bear
today, strong tall and black
i could feel his eyes all over me
as if desiring to taste my skin
i let him close and felt his
tongue on my neck
as he smelled my hair

one step at a time

i am so scared
of finally learning the truth
of what lies inside me;
these memories fail-
recall doesn’t work and I try.
the mystery of my heart
it’s eating me up inside
i’m hiding like a child-
stuck in a closet with no door-
this maze of forgiveness…
hallways of my childhood
dark and scary, I run
and close my eyes…
anger blocks the way forward
still I try… one step at a time

two sides

peace what’s peace
but a false lie about what
we should have if we tried harder-
there’s no quiet…
the walls of the room are closing
around… chest tight throat closing
the sound of guitar masking the pain
feeling like a child on a rainy day
sun shining breeze through my hair
smile on my face
but what’s to be done when darkness
comes knocking at the door?
i run to answer it knowing that it’s an old friend
greetings and hugs- we get down to business
i’m simply sitting at odds….
two sides of me at once
peaceful happy smiling face and darkened brooding inside me

this heart

as the day slowly wanes
and sunlight softens behind
the clouds that cooled the heat
with welcome rain I think of
what my heart would say
if she could speak in a manner
i could fully understand
about our past together…
would she feel warm like I do now
under cover of billowing clouds
or would she hate, like I’ve learned
from pain…

i think my heart might like to sing
because my soul tells me that she’s
an actress