obsessive and unnatural-
the curves of thought
spiraling into dirty depths
of diseased memory, that link
back to you
dark and twisted passion, engraved
by a tortured tool, remain etched
within the walls of souls-
writing that predates first breath
and solvency
and these violent acts of love,
tied forever back to your touch,
remain within twisted fingers
bound by string- always
leading back to you
these thoughts sit upon a prickly throne
uncomfortable, unsteady-
full of insecure reason as memories
shade the past with hues of gray
bestowed with a crown of disbelief
and touched with lunacy
these pitiful thoughts demand attention
as rabid emotion kneels in disdain
pulsating numbness and sweat beads
running down my chin;
the yard needs some tending
but I cannot seem to find the strength
to finish-
flowers everywhere mixed with weeds
and my heart spinning…just thinking
of what was said
though the dark nights are over, the waking has just begun…
So I will linger in the shade just a little longer
And then get back to the garden
time stops, the moment slows
painful memories trapped within
tingling skin
release to the grand expanse of
eternity..
and that deep-seated darkness
is held silent by angel’s sweet mercy
as my spirit grows wings of light
and flys away…
what is the nature of a peace of mind
that within the bubble of a second
gets freed to time?
my longing to pull flesh from spirit
has me enflamed, roasting in my
own heavy desire
this fire, these flames, naked is
not enough to contain the throb
that my heart aches with
and I can’t stop the pain… this desire
that burns me from the inside out
beyond longing, my energy spins
around and around
consuming itself in its own funeral pyre
and I am lost to words
and to the wind
the sounds of waves couldn’t comfort me
now as I sit and long for that which might
set this tumult free
Laying in bed
My head spinning like the fan over me
I keep looking to see if sleep
Might actually come
But there’s too much turning
My mind swirling these thoughts
Of what I might do
If I was close… oh those things
That grow legs in the dark
Thoughts that hide from light
Chase me now…
Here I am sleep evading me
these thoughts invading me…
Who are You? I ask my dream self
for clarity… can I find you exactly
where we said we’d lay
under the stars? I’ve been looking,
walking through dreams-or shall I say
dream walking….
Longing for you in my sleep, to find peace
I let go and let the flow of what’s to be
Wash over
The air is hot tonight and weighs
heavily upon my soul…
From whence I came here I don’t recall
but I know that I will not be staying long…
My arms as wings long to take flight
along the paths of mystics long
forgotten… but me I’m still here-
watching as night turns to day
and seasons float into each other
and though the heat is upon my
body, sweaty and low, I reckon I will
be slowly moving into that which
might let me sleep- perhaps to take off
in dream- to these places I ache to go…
Perhaps I’ll see you there
oh light! you found me on my knees
praying that grace might take pity
and remove this ache that dogs me so…
and like cool water, you soothed my soul
that golden longing that touched me-
and into the ether, i bled songs for you
of days, long ago… that i remember yet;
your touch, a fire with no burn, that softly
lingers upon my spirit-
starlight of hope and memory
faded forever now into my energy
The June ocean kisses my body
with a taste of menthol,
soothing all the rough spots
of my soul with cool healing touch…
Relaxing my head beneath the waves
of dark blue, almost black salt water
I give myself over to the call of the wind
and the flow of the rough waves-
Shivers of invigorating ecstasy
make their way up my floating,
bobbing body
slowly and deliberately
as I release myself to the gods of the water
the SIBYL'S SONG 