Tag: restless spirit

halls of time

there’s nothing left for me
to give of myself,
but blood and time…
as this life force drips slowly
into the abyss
i am lost within
these passageways of mine;
screaming down empty halls
hoping to find answers to the
riddles that plague my mind…
turning still, into nothing, floating
like dead leaves upon autumnal
breeze what will come of me now?
with this slow ticking
reminding me of passing time
i am nothing but a lost soul
looking for answers; and finding
none to be had
i’m guided by my own lonely echoes
colliding through the halls of time


This heart, too open to be
Closed and too aching
To be heard
Lies prostrate among the flowers
Of my life, weeping
For change…
Soundless, countless waves of
Frustration wash over in
Gray and red and blue
Longing for that inexorable
Something that will enliven
And brighten
And free this heart to fly
Alas, imprisoned within my own
I am but autumn flowers fading
Amidst the coming winter


quiet this mind-
this disease that’s spread
from room to room
within me…
tumor’s growth suffocates my
demons dance upon my heart
laughing and joking…
as if my despair isn’t
pitiable enough- i am thrashed
by a mocking song of soul
that lingers upon my
shoulders like a wrath
skulking, sullen and cold
i am lost to the changing tides
of torment
and i don’t even know why

dark obsession

this uncontrollable fire
burns today without regard
for what I desire-
it’s like the flames i carry within
my heart have a mind of their own…
and my body is left in the middle
trying to control the slow burn
of my longing soul
why do you taunt me so?!
you who hold the key to my
eternity, spirits own lonely
companion down this forsaken road…
would that I cut you out of my destiny
if you would only go, but still you linger here;
my heart’s dark obsession, passion’s fiery glow


my longing to pull flesh from spirit
has me enflamed, roasting in my
own heavy desire
this fire, these flames, naked is
not enough to contain the throb
that my heart aches with
and I can’t stop the pain… this desire
that burns me from the inside out
beyond longing, my energy spins
around and around
consuming itself in its own funeral pyre
and I am lost to words
and to the wind
the sounds of waves couldn’t comfort me
now as I sit and long for that which might
set this tumult free


The air is hot tonight and weighs
heavily upon my soul…
From whence I came here I don’t recall
but I know that I will not be staying long…
My arms as wings long to take flight
along the paths of mystics long
forgotten… but me I’m still here-
watching as night turns to day
and seasons float into each other
and though the heat is upon my
body, sweaty and low, I reckon I will
be slowly moving into that which
might let me sleep- perhaps to take off
in dream- to these places I ache to go…
Perhaps I’ll see you there


My guilt at not being more
grows steadily within-
and the harder you try to
show me your love
the farther I retreat into
my homemade prison…
Don’t you know that I cannot
bear thoughts of sweet nothings
whispered softly in my ear?
How can I possibly hear your wanderings
above the dull roar of disease
within my head?

counter and away

Oh bleeding heart!
Why are you
so adverse to the pleasures
of happiness
such that you run counter
and away- from the love you desire
in hopes of finding pain
to feed your false need for
what is familiar?

what is this?

what is this blindness that keeps
me from seeing the happy ending
right in front of me?
what is this longing that dissuades
the wanderlust of my spirit
from finding peace?
i am but a vessel of emotion,
filled with unquenchable yearning…
how you can love or trust a thing
so varied, so caught up in the wind,
that my heart, if it were to grow
wings, might fly away from this cage
and into eternity?


I tried to patch the hole
from which the slow leak
of my joy softly dripped….
But the tape didn’t seem
to want to hold
and I was left with the bitter
tannins that collected at the
bottom of my heart

Today was a desperate clawing
at restlessness
that would not subside
and there was nothing
left for me to find
but this lonely emptiness
that coated my heart
with residue