expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
the uncertainty with which
my feet step
line this path
with beating breast
and reflux…
alone with thoughts of what
may come
i hope for release from
this bellowing fear-
unknown possibilities
reflect back to me as I linger
at home waiting
for future’s tomorrow to take me
staring at an empty plate
not sure what to do with it-
the longer i look at the clean
appearance
the more i want to drown it
in food
and forks
and I long to taste what might
cover the soft flowers
and devour that which lines
the center
and oh, perhaps you too
might undress yourself so quietly
so i might cover your outer corners
with sustenance and longing
you are my appetite
fueled and filled and quieted
by sweet resolve
I remember sitting under the bridge
In the rain
Your body pushed against me
As we smoked
The scent lingering on your lips
As we kissed
I felt alive next to you
And would have lost
Myself to your deep body
If you let me
Light blue sky
Overhead
flashes into my mind…
Spring
brushes the dust away
And These open windows
Where sunlight and soft breeze
Might flow
Create space for things other
Than pain
Oh how these songbirds outside
Make this heart sing!
I am basking in the cleanliness
Of soul
That comes with opening
Light blue sky
Flashes in my mind
As the strong winds of springtime
Air out this dusty heart…
And the open windows of my soul
Collect sounds of songbirds
Within the walls
And even the photographs
Are smiling…
What release can remove the darkness
Of the past and replace it
With such warm light?
Oh great life! Though I’ve doubted
Your love
I know you’ve always been just outside
Waiting for me to welcome you
I entered the cave as before
Naked, hair flowing…
But the other side was raining
The flip side of sunny
It was nourishing-
The dark side of the world…
The trees welcomed me with smiles
And remembrances
Joyfully I hugged them
With the entirety of my heart..
And I felt a spider’s web brush my face;
I wondered at where the spider could be…
And I saw her
She was behind me, reading my
Steps… unsure of how to approach
I reached out to her energetically
And felt her face next to mine
This white wolf
And she remained close to me
Then she asked for my heart
And I watched her eat it
besmirched I travelled back down
The road, and through the portal
Back home
this child haunts the halls
of your broken sight
always lost and losing
afraid to let people into
this darkness lest they find a light
and shine it on all the filth
that remains in this room of pain
there’s nothing there to steal
and you’ve left nothing to gain
your poison in my lungs
and your illusion for my brain
i will wait no longer for you though
falcon’s wings take me away
but in the end I will have you
and you will be asked to pay
bees hover just so slightly
over the waving grasses dotted with
small white wildflowers swaying,
breathing, as the wind blows…
and these giant feet of mine
are careful not to step upon a bee
or butterfly
and disrupt the flow of this
waving dancing ecosystem…
just a giant walking
as the air sweeps my hair back
and hips sway
I dug a hole
The soil was dark and wet
I could smell the musty earth
Under my fingers, on my clothes
Covering my knees..
Perhaps someday I will lie inside
This muddy hole and let the world
Drift by… though I hold no false
Hope for me..
Oh that ends could be so easy!
I would drift into the rain swept sky
Releasing all the world ever taught
Me to believe
Alas I’m still here, covered now in
This musty earth, waiting for a time
When my heart, strong and hard,
Might deign to release
Me from this prison
Of mind
the SIBYL'S SONG 