quiet this mind-
this disease that’s spread
from room to room
within me…
tumor’s growth suffocates my
silence
demons dance upon my heart
laughing and joking…
as if my despair isn’t
pitiable enough- i am thrashed
by a mocking song of soul
that lingers upon my
shoulders like a wrath
skulking, sullen and cold
i am lost to the changing tides
of torment
and i don’t even know why
Tag: poems
Dusk of love
your emotions are a black hole
they are always growing
in darkness
and never filled with
anything that resembles light,
eager to devour all that you see-
when your spinning emotional
avalanche falls upon me
i shudder in its wake…
And when you choose to share
your misery with others
all see you and despair
for your selfish heart is
full of only you
and no others
and all you can see is you
and your darkness
and i am tired of living in
the dusk of love
this white light
this mind of mine won’t stop spinning…
wondering…
hoping…
thinking that maybe all this
noise will eventually turn into
music or sound…
something that makes sense to me-
for all this- i’ve already heard,
but cannot grasp yet..
and the white light that
won’t let me sleep or dream-
would that it be removed from me
so that i can see this picture
that lingers on the outskirts
of my mind
when will the bells stop ringing?
when will the train pull into the station
and rest for a time?
oh i’m dreadful and tired
and i need your arms to hold mine
so i can sleep again
whirlwind of time and desire
would you mind closing your eyes
for a moment so i might
come in real closely to smell
the soft scent
of soap that lines your neck?
perhaps if you hold real still
you might feel my tongue
upon your skin as i taste
the sweat that’s forming
just below your chin
and oh, to feel your chest, rising
and falling like a balloon
hot and certain…
and would I fly away upon your lap
in a whirlwind of time
and desire
home again
sitting so silently
locked somewhere inside
your turning mind,
afraid that this one leaving
will be prolonged, you lose yourself
to the sands of drifting time..
and though I’ve tried to tell you
otherwise, that I’ll be home
again, you shudder and dismay
upon your couch of
insecurity
as I ready my bags and still my
heart to leave
starlight dimming
expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
unknown fear
the uncertainty with which
my feet step
line this path
with beating breast
and reflux…
alone with thoughts of what
may come
i hope for release from
this bellowing fear-
unknown possibilities
reflect back to me as I linger
at home waiting
for future’s tomorrow to take me
an empty plate
staring at an empty plate
not sure what to do with it-
the longer i look at the clean
appearance
the more i want to drown it
in food
and forks
and I long to taste what might
cover the soft flowers
and devour that which lines
the center
and oh, perhaps you too
might undress yourself so quietly
so i might cover your outer corners
with sustenance and longing
you are my appetite
fueled and filled and quieted
by sweet resolve
infernal singing
i am lost to the winds of time-
thrown into a space that
lingers near me, but not
fully that which is mine and i long
to remain here, singing
this song of forgetfulness
as i remember your face…
give me a kiss and remind me that
i am still here
waiting!
as i wait for the records to play
what dance am i to do with you
that we haven’t already done
today?
i find so fulfilling your
eternal embrace of sound
and thought
as if i am still here dancing
now,
as if you are still here with me…
and your longing that i can feel yet
across this time and space
captures my heart within my breast
as i feed your soul
with my infernal singing…
goodbye…
it feels like it hasn’t stopped raining
in days
just sheets of falling water, bleeding
from an angry sky
and though i would use this to cleanse
my heart of truth
yet, i cannot lie, you are the
clouds that circle my soul
in darkness, you are the water
that drowns my voice,
you are the ever falling, ever tumultuous
storm that i let linger within
me
because your thunder is all i have known…
now, i let you go, releasing
your rainclouds and lightening-
your darkness, but this simple string
that i hold within my hand,
and i watch as it flies into the heavens…
oh dark and faithless lover,
i bid you goodbye…
the SIBYL'S SONG 