Tag: pain

empty nest

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I held a baby robin in my
Hand yesterday
Trying to lift it back into its nest

It’s heart was beating, mouth open
So full of frailty and life;
I waited to see mom return

Twice more she fell out of her
Poorly constructed nest
and twice more I lifted her back

Yet when I awoke this morning
The nest was empty
And a little body lay upon the mulch

Sadness within that empty nest-
As I watch the robin mother
Lament her fallen child

And I think of those empty
And poorly constructed places within my heart
That cannot hold love

And I too grieve for the loss
That lies within me
For that is equally as sorrowful

dissolution

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~dissolution~

the flow of tears from my eyes
hasn’t stopped since you
told me the date of our
dissolution

I can not fathom that
all is lost now
and your arms will no longer
hold my fears

my heart is utterly lost;
sinking below the least of
places i have been
forging new uncharted pain

what is to become of a soul
so dark and hidden
that I cannot even
find it myself?

the only key

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I feel rather foolish
For holding on this long
And with this much force

There’s only so much leeway
The universe provides
Before it sees fit to intervene

All those things we *wish* for
Are but turns in the wheel of fate
….and nothing is permanent

To be so insistent
On a thing succeeding
Only breeds disharmony

There is no understanding-
This nature of fate and exacting karma
Acceptance is the only key

goodbye love

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It’s a game you play
With my heart
And it causes me great sadness
To the point that I am leaving
All this behind

I would rather spend a lifetime
Chasing dreams
Than another moment
Running after
Illusion

You are simply too much
For my heart to endure

mirrors don’t lie

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There’s nothing more to be gained
By holding on
What was once forming
Now, like smoke, drifts in the air

And I would remain here, too,
Inhaling your divine incense-
sustaining thought and feeling-
But, that I know your truth…

Mirrors are never good liars
And I see your reflection
In my own minds eye;
Your smile brings pain to my heart

My uneasy mind now let’s you go
With the understanding that your
Soft words and smooth flow
Find other ears to softly caress

unknown destiny

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my body, a vessel, floating
alone
in the vast dark of the sea
and i wonder now
what will become of the broken
pieces of me

never in the darkness
have i dwelt so freely
and within that bleak freedom,
longing to find more
of me, I surrender
to the deep waves

with no breath left
inside my chest
i sink into the oblivion of my heart
to search out what it is
that ushers me
towards an unknown destiny

what is this?

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What is this hold upon my heart
that keeps me tied upon this throne
of the past?
What creates within me this desire
to remain steadfast
even in the face of logic?
What is it about you, dear one,
that locks my feet in place
refusing to move away from you?
I long to know your secrets, and what
you could possibly have to bind me
so to your spirit…

I will linger here, but a while longer,
in hopes that all will be revealed
and clarity show me the way.

If not for this ringing in my ear and
the longing in my heart
I would not understand a thing

i miss you

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i miss you- your voice, your touch, your light
i miss the way you brush your hair out of your face
and your laugh…

i miss you- simply, because you
are no longer here with me
yet your essence- it lingers in my memories

i miss you- and will try to turn off these feelings
for fear that i would drown into them
and sink down into misery

missing is a game that i cannot win
nor should i long to try
i will let it go like smoke or wind….

so it goes

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~so it goes~

This ringing in my ear
is reminding me that you are gone
from me now-
And that is how it should be….

And I accept this; save for the
emptiness in my heart that longs
for relief and the pounding in
my chest, echoes of broken….

There’s nothing more you could do
to hurt me, cept take away that which is yours,
(once perhaps mine)
And give it to another.

A world of karmic consequences
mock human feelings
of love and loss….
What is soul to one:
Is simply spirit to another.

So it goes.