traumatic walls line my heart
as a dark shield of pain
what once was protection
now makes me a slave
it’s a cage of dull metal
and though i bite and i scratch
there is no relief
nor anyway to go back
oh! that i could take you
far away from here
but, my heart, you’re too willing
to just remain inside trapped
Tag: pain
waking tear
oh! would that i could protect my heart
from such weakness it has for you…
when your soul sings sweet nothings
to me, drifting me softly to sleep;
for within those lullabies, lies hope
that you might yet, find me…
though soul’s purpose be shrouded-
clouded by misgivings of the day,
i can’t help but think of thoughts
that you might still find your way…
and within those thoughts, held is grief,
for my eyes hear what my ears refuse
to see… you, my love, are but a memory
and I am just a waking tear
druken with sorrow
i dreamt of a blue and purple buddha-
with a slight smile upon his face,
and i wondered as i lay awake
what he might know, that i do not,
about my destiny…
the stars seem so misaligned,
i’m missing signs, like leaves
upon a stream, I drift aimlessly
towards some unknown sea…
and i hold no hope that the world
might reveal the path
my feet are meant to follow
as i slowly make my way home
drunken now with sorrow.
silent heart
This abusive mind
Has locked the door
on my pleading heart
Such that her beating
Lies silent in my chest
disease
My guilt at not being more
grows steadily within-
and the harder you try to
show me your love
the farther I retreat into
my homemade prison…
Don’t you know that I cannot
bear thoughts of sweet nothings
whispered softly in my ear?
How can I possibly hear your wanderings
above the dull roar of disease
within my head?
counter and away
Oh bleeding heart!
Why are you
so adverse to the pleasures
of happiness
such that you run counter
and away- from the love you desire
in hopes of finding pain
to feed your false need for
what is familiar?
emptiness
swirling dark clouds filled
with emotional acid rain
raged within me
for what seemed like days…
it started as a thunder storm
and increased in strength
until my heart was lifted from my chest
and launched into the ether
of my mind…
i have looked, but still can’t find,
where the remnants of my heart
remain- tossed about on
love’s bitter wind, broken by the
storms within, i hold no hope
that any joy survived…
a shattering of love’s sweet grace
such emptiness that
now remains…
bleak warden
there is nothing left inside my chest
but a bitter emptiness that lines
the hours of my love with
caged bars to keep me safe-
and while I long, like a song bird,
to be free of my prison
i know that this self-imposed
pain in which my heart resides
is but a punishment of the self
for things that cannot be told
but rather lay hidden…
and I am lost to the ravages
of my own mind
a darkening that lingers within
my heart like a bleak warden
the SIBYL'S SONG 