your emotions are a black hole
they are always growing
in darkness
and never filled with
anything that resembles light,
eager to devour all that you see-
when your spinning emotional
avalanche falls upon me
i shudder in its wake…
And when you choose to share
your misery with others
all see you and despair
for your selfish heart is
full of only you
and no others
and all you can see is you
and your darkness
and i am tired of living in
the dusk of love
Tag: pain
starlight dimming
expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
an empty plate
staring at an empty plate
not sure what to do with it-
the longer i look at the clean
appearance
the more i want to drown it
in food
and forks
and I long to taste what might
cover the soft flowers
and devour that which lines
the center
and oh, perhaps you too
might undress yourself so quietly
so i might cover your outer corners
with sustenance and longing
you are my appetite
fueled and filled and quieted
by sweet resolve
in the rain
I remember sitting under the bridge
In the rain
Your body pushed against me
As we smoked
The scent lingering on your lips
As we kissed
I felt alive next to you
And would have lost
Myself to your deep body
If you let me
pay
this child haunts the halls
of your broken sight
always lost and losing
afraid to let people into
this darkness lest they find a light
and shine it on all the filth
that remains in this room of pain
there’s nothing there to steal
and you’ve left nothing to gain
your poison in my lungs
and your illusion for my brain
i will wait no longer for you though
falcon’s wings take me away
but in the end I will have you
and you will be asked to pay
prison of mind
I dug a hole
The soil was dark and wet
I could smell the musty earth
Under my fingers, on my clothes
Covering my knees..
Perhaps someday I will lie inside
This muddy hole and let the world
Drift by… though I hold no false
Hope for me..
Oh that ends could be so easy!
I would drift into the rain swept sky
Releasing all the world ever taught
Me to believe
Alas I’m still here, covered now in
This musty earth, waiting for a time
When my heart, strong and hard,
Might deign to release
Me from this prison
Of mind
nature’s beauty
there’s a dead leaf
that hangs onto this summer
plant;
brown and wilted
it clings
in contrast to the red and pink
flowers growing near-
yet still, through this
transparent death
soft wind quietly blows…
and with rays of sunlight
it dances and glows
how wondrous a transition!
even in death, nature’s
beauty grows
love’s flow
hang me upside down
and see what secrets might fall
out of the pockets
of my soul-
filled now with memories still
unspoken…
and though I long to be free
from this fool’s gold that binds
me so
the wings that would let me fly
are pinned by the heaviness
that the past still holds…
bound now by illusions that weigh me
down
would that i could be the hanged man
and release to gravity that which
blocks love’s flow…
oh what i would give
just to lighten this load! and let my
heart soar into eternity…
sorry i am
i could tell you again
how sorry i am
for the demons that still
walk my dreams
and line my head…
i could tell you again
that you’re not to blame
for all of this
heartache…
that broken pieces of the vase
in which i store my soul
are lying at my feet-
and when you step-
you cut
and bleed…
i could tell you again that i am sorry
for it all….
but i don’t think you can hear me
anymore
eclipse the day
daylight is brewing
and the sound of busy
birds fill my head with pretty
tunes
they have been singing
for hours now
as i’ve laid in bed-
alone with this anger,
my heart
and my head-
it’s raging through, lashing
and scratching
so appalling, alas though,
what else what can i do?
i’ve sat with this pain for so long now
i’m drowning in the darkness
of this horrid state…
trapped, i wait for the sunlight
to remind me that i’m awake
and okay…
how does one keep going-
when anger-so strongly- can eclipse
the day?
the SIBYL'S SONG 