it always seems to rain
when i ready my heart
to open-
such pain that pours from
the sky
leveling my mind
washing away all thought
but that which lingers now
of memory….
and where am i?
waiting for the heavens to clear
and the flood to drain
from the surface of my soul;
for i am nothing if not
consistent in this drowning
from my own sorrow
Tag: pain
swim away
incomplete and flush with pain
the darkness in which
my feet toil and hands toil
creates waves of confusion
crashing inside a mind that
will not submit
and though i try to focus
this ball of energy, this life force,
that creates what I see and
what I know
i’m lost to the flame of insecurity
and unknown
there’s no quiet within my soul
with which to see the puzzle pieces
that comprise me
so falling beneath these moon swept
breakers of emotion
i suffer still, at the hands of a heart
too afraid to swim away
graveyard of memory
unopened doorways
harboring darkness and fear
outstretch whispers
calling to me-
it’s a graveyard of memory
that lingers within the deepest
corners of my hidden thought
binding me with secrets
untold and wistfully forgotten…
though the night weighs heavily
upon my soul
i hate more than i accept
and will not open that threshold
for fear of falling into the darkness
i lock inside there-
there’s no hope for letting go
and no resolve when i cannot
even acknowledge the lies
that so linger quietly within my heart…
truth within
these pieces of my heart fall
onto a puzzle board-
sorted by color and shape;
so as to be fit together
as my will allows…
digested upon visions
growing larger and more distinct
fill out my mind’s eye-
perhaps providing clarity
to pictures and sound…
lo that i am a somewhat tortured
soul
i would place these thoughts of myself
upon an altar of understanding
and allow what lingers as divine
within me to change what i know
to be
into what i see as truth within
your eyes
your eyes aren’t the same color
since I came home…
the blue that once shone like
ocean’s tide
is now softened into a
different kind of hue-
it’s as if the sky swallowed up your
sight and replaced it with deep
and indefatigable darkness…
when they deign to meet mine,
all I see is anger and pain-
when you look away i can see
more than you desire-
and less of the love they held for me
coldness
this space that lives behind
the blue of your eyes
pauses this beating heart….
for within the folds
of silence lies darkness
that will not break
or bend…
coldness runs deep
within the quiet between us
as chills prick my skin
and cool my soul’s core
and I wonder when the sun might
shine again
eagles glide
standing upon this jagged
cliff
watching eagle wings glide
and water crash on rocks below me-
such that my entire body,
longing to fly,
ponders jumping from the very
edge at which I stand
and releasing my soul
back to the expanse of quiet
from which I became…
for the path where my feet
now find themselves
is sorrowful and full of pain-
i am lost to the clouds that
hover within my heart
and the wind that won’t silence
my mind
oh to be free from the shackles of
such life that binds me so
breaking glass
breaking glass
falls upon the steps at which I stand-
cowardly afraid to pick it up;
callously worried about myself
and how those shards might hurt me-
with no regard to the bloodshed
created for those who walk alongside…
and though I would die before
i hurt one i love
i am torn by the need for my own peace
and resolving who i am….
what is the point of loving when
the pain caused by my very being
resonates so strongly around me?
lost petals
the petals of your heart
that i held in my hand
have fallen to the floor
and this breast of mine
is shaking
as the wind whisks them
away from me….
desolation remains as I decide
how to tell you i’ve lost
such precious pieces
of your soul
to the careless wind…
and my careless hand…
sorry isn’t a good enough
explanation
though i know you’ll try to
understand…
how can you put back together lost
pieces of love
that floated into that dark
eternity?
torment
quiet this mind-
this disease that’s spread
from room to room
within me…
tumor’s growth suffocates my
silence
demons dance upon my heart
laughing and joking…
as if my despair isn’t
pitiable enough- i am thrashed
by a mocking song of soul
that lingers upon my
shoulders like a wrath
skulking, sullen and cold
i am lost to the changing tides
of torment
and i don’t even know why
the SIBYL'S SONG 