the light is returning, though within me
the lingering darkness yet gives way
deep within the basement of my being
lies traumas and truths
i linger with them, finger them, try to love them
yet there is no embrace that will salve
the throbbing loss that exists yet-
my heart, given over to the shadows
of threat and dis-ease
steadily remains unfazed
like liquid with a soul, she flows…
yet above her, sitting in wait
watching the sky shift colors
and the moon dance within her growing
shrinking, changing nature
I realize that i am but a tune in this song,
i am but a word, blown across this plane
waiting to rejoin what i remember before
the suffering took hold in darkness
and my body retreated to the void
of simply being human….
Tag: life lessons
suckling
floating dreams; images circling
clearing paths of truth and communion
heart and mind at odds with deeper understanding
what will come when they wash away these stains?
what will replace this longing?
this voice, quieted by the lies that choke it,
and dependence on a splitting of self
two sides of a being, tearing itself to get over
and conquer
what will come when the light strips bare
all that has hidden inside the shadows?
what monster lingers inside darkness?
my heart is being eaten by itself
urging me to devour myself
over and over again
oh, exacting history be damned now, your
traumas can not hold you anymore
you are naked now and I will suckle you
until you slowly drift from my being
and return to where you can do no more harm
Droplets fall
It’s a slow drip
This heart of mine
Slowly methodically drip drip drip
I hear it within me, leaking
This heart! A leaking ship!
My hands rush to catch the droplets
And pull back in disgust
A symphony of running, catching, wasting
Washing; echoes seeping, dripping
Dropping-
My mind a-flutter with madness
Tapping memories of pains long passed
Still this drip, cleanse the soul!
And yet I sit, waiting still
For the next droplet from my heart
to gently fall
Golden gods
golden gods, statue standing upon sky
what would you have done?
would you use my opening heart
for foolish play, as you have countless times before?
would you lay my body down, to do what you may
and then vanish again into night’s cold embrace?
golden gods, watching this play unfold
would you linger within me for a time
to taste my sweet endeavors?
you! who are lost upon the sands of a time
once so fresh and new
but now nothing but a ruin upon the mountain side-
and i, searching now for remnants of what
might have been would you have ascended
this heart beyond foolhardy deeds,
will simply decide to walk away
for your apathy wears not upon my soul
innocence
my heart sits by the door
waiting to be invited inside
she licks her wounds, pain and pleasure
swirling inside like a tyrant, a storm
this tempest that rages within the quiet
of her inner chambers
longingful darkness settles
as echoes whisper to her that she is lacking
that she is used up, that she is simple
he dipped his hand into her breast
his fingers moving, and dancing inside her
hate and pain, poisoning each beat and breath
confusioned mixture, an elixir of pleasure
tinging her outer limit with hate
i have watched this heart of mine for too long
suffering at the doorstep of my home
ive begged her to come inside
yet still she sits, waiting to be forgiven
for the pain she played as they groped innocence
from her giving fingers
Folds of time
Let loose your grip
And everything will fall into place
Rest resides within
Fear feeds upon the wicked
As raindrops fall upon anointed heads
It will all come crashing down
In a thunderous boom
Nowhere left to hide
We stand before truth
Uncovered and vulnerable
Naked of all but balance
Where does the dim light hide?
Deeds are not forsaken
But energy in the folds of time
Lost today
The world looks cloudy today
My eyes cannot see the ground
A blanket of grey fear covers the sun
And anger returns after a long absence-
Words and echoes fill my head
Until I cannot speak or think
The sounds of severe faces, screaming
Whip around; leaves caught in the wind-
I shine my light, small that it is
Into the void and storm
Searching for survivors, my guides
Fly beside me, wolf and hawk as feathers fall
Lost, I lament, all feels lost today
A small king
I am but a very small king, standing upon a very tall wall
My heart, aflutter with hope and fear
as I look out into what is now a new landscape
what lingers within the branches of that great forest?
what awaits me once i figure out how to climb down?
what rope will foster me as i descend?
how will i know to keep my golden crown in place-
so small am i now, peering upon the land of my ancestors
death and disease hold no sway
as birds fly above me, large and imposing
I am but a tiny speck upon this growing land
my voice, a miniature song waiting to be replayed
and as i give my heart over to the abundance
upon which my eyes now feast,
I am reminded of this ending, now a beginning
where I might finally see my own face
Waiting
the light of my eyes is still shining
birds are still singing
this heart, yearning for more,
weeps inside my chest
locked down, inside this tyrant of mind
i can hear the soldiers buzzing
and bells ringing
and all that was, stripping bare-
my bosom quietly connecting
to time, flowing between what was
and what is yet to be
mother has taken us through with golden hands
of love and compassion
yet my body, sits here, in wait
wondering what will become of this new reality
I am caught between peace and a total unraveling
and I am waiting for you,
to find my soul upon the ridges of that sacred land…
my falcon, and my red breasted hawk
search and reach for the coming of a new day
and within my eyes, i smile
for i know it is all part of the plan
Deep
Fear takes me and tightens my body,
Locks my jaw, sucks in my lips,
Chewing away at peace-
Anger always lurking in the shadows
Always ready to pounce
And fear smiles at me as she stings my heart
Over and over again
I sing and tap to remain present
But the roots of my pain run deep
the SIBYL'S SONG 