childhood bedtime-
woven intermingled memories
legs around me, surrounding me
suffocatingly….
sheets, flowered and clean,
a prison of the mind
tortured by snores and more
shattering…
homeward my heart would lead
followed in time by my mind
and eventually my body
how though you didn’t see
the damage that your snuggles
did to me
I walked a tilted floor
Trying to get back to you
But I just kept slipping
Away
The ground beneath my feet
Slanted and sliding
Ever moving and unsure
Wasted me
A quicksand of quick fix,
Not withstanding pain,
Lingers yet as prison
Upon my brain
And I wait for your heart to capture
Me as I fall away
As proof that you’re still true
To a soul that’s enflamed
Bobcat crawled out of the
basement of my dream
Hung onto the top stair
pleading with me.
I shut the door
Swore, and urged him to go away
What he was showing…
I just couldn’t let myself say
So I woke up with a pain
In my breast, beating chest,
And regret for things that
That lay hidden between
There’s truly no letting go
When things are left
To linger just below-
The basement of hidden truth…
What is a kiss but lips
Touching
In an unexpressed language
Soulfully wordless
And yet more…
Pages of unresolved emotion
Bound between two sets of
Skin; linked by heartfelt
Synchronicities of joy and pain
I long for your lips to reach
That place within me
That hovers within darkness
And liberate my spirit
Your carefully placed longing
Accepted into my being
Would be such fresh spring
To a releasing ache.
There’s another bird
That made a nest at my house
She sits in the wreath on my porch
And waits
Quietly I wonder why these
Sweet songbirds find me
And nestle so into my heart
And home.
Perhaps nature’s sweet way
Of reminding me that melody
Can hold sway of spirit
And lighten the load
Would that I could sing as such
With wordless thoughts-
That cannot be understood
But by the heart.
There is a lightness in my step
today; a smile that my spirit
grace
for that which was a question mark
lies now a period upon my thoughts
and while i long to
embrace that magic-
that ever so soulful dreamy state-
i long more for that which is
real-
and within myself find that
bewitched state…
heartfelt songs within my breath;
melodious echoes inside silent
space…
now that i can see
the secrets that in front
of me have dangled
Softly
i am free to love more fully
with the understanding
that what was, while not real,
still held lessons for my soul,
to help me grow, into
the person i’m meant to be.
my task now is to let go
say goodbye, good day, farewell
and let the universe
try to fill the empty spaces
with light
this calling of my heart
to understand the part i played;
my doing : undoing mixed
together- this flow…
i let go
heaviness sits upon my soul;
striving to be free from the
confines that bound it
to you- the links
back to me
i release all those things
i thought to know;
trying to make sense of
that which draws deep pain
within my soul
and with love, and on my knees,
i plead to the universe
to take that which i lost
and replace it with
a more tender energy
You once asked me
if my feelings fade
and I told you my heart,
unlike the moon,
doesn’t wax and wane
I am constant…
I know your heart
and it’s need for change
and it’s unrelenting search for
that which destiny
Ordains
….Unconditionally always was a tall order anyway…..
relationships work two ways-
and a dose of honesty
between us was all
I ever needed
and would have cherished
all my days.
Alas… though, now all that’s left is to fade away.
Looking back now
I realize I held on too long
to the illusion of you
instead of seeing your
bitterly cold reality
Smoke and mirrors-
that’s your heart
and your truth
and what you leave
behind in your wake…
I feel such morose pity
for you-
Empty, suffering, lost-
A compass that only points
in one direction…
I wish I knew , what I know
before I launched myself
into your heart;
a fire I will not
recover from quickly
the SIBYL'S SONG 