today
i turned a page
i walked away
i let you go
i forgot your face
i blocked your fire
i closed the gate
though my longing stays
and your illusions remain
and the magic i thought i held
well, it’s still what i crave
so i can claim the day,
i suppose…
i can profess that i am free
to find another way
but i let you in, and parts of you
…they still remain
i will need sometime i guess
to clean my house
and hope the scent of you
slowly fades away
I am the earth
my robes flow into endless fields of gold
and my heart carries songs of birds on the wind
the fire within me burns
with glory and contemplation
my unending source of power and love
I am abundant and give freely
of my healing streams; my valleys
dotted with the scent of flowers and truth
I am constant and unending
I have enough for all who love me
and more for those who cannot
***************************************************
when there is nothing left
nothing is there
and nothing can change that
or make it into something it is not
so I say goodbye to release myself
from the strange hold your
nothing had over me
Just outside the door I linger now,
around a dirty plastic table;
my face lifted and opening towards
warm golden sunlight rays,
thinking on better days, in hopes
that the warmth might lift
my darkening heart from those thoughts
better left unspoken…
Would I linger here within
this logical maze of happiness
and health, or rather choose to sink
into that which I know hungers for me?
I am called towards your vampiric energy…
you who drain my soul instead of set it free-
may the sunlight be constantly reminding
that I am whole and unbroken…
its just a loud silence that fills
the space between us;
a buffering of sound to keep
sweet words away from eager ears
words that one so longs to hear;
oh! inciteful flames that could
give rise to reality’s destruction
fueled yet, by lies and alibis,
you do no good when the words
you drip, like honey, are poisonous to
touch, and more damaging when
ingested into the blood
It’s not yet dawn and
my dog is softly snoring on my leg.
My eyes try to rest
but these thoughts of you
that run wild within my heart
linger loudly round me;
It’s dissonance to my soul
and allows my heart no peace-
Love knows no time and cares not
for respite or release;
So I hover now between, wondering,
what I could have done differently…
A plague of the heart as dark as
the night outside my window-
My only consolation is that I know
by the songbirds that dawn is near
Even if I go away
I will still hear it-
That ever so steady
Beating of the heart I broke
And tried to piece back together
With masking tape and glue
I turned my head and saw the marks
On my neck, where you once fed
Though I’m not dead
I hang on yet…
Holding this thread of reality
Between my fingers
Grasping the last bits of
Reason… and trying to make sense
Of why willingly
i accepted your feeding
oh to wish the quiet of my soul
be louder than the chatter
of my mind
yet i fall behind
always looking for that which
avoids me
missing the larger view
such that i annoy me
a longing for what I
cannot say
I strive to find a lifetime of answers
in a single day
what shortcuts can i take?
I repeal myself
as my eyes look towards
an eternal sky and i know
that I will not find that
in which i search
until i delve away from my waking mind
and into the depths of the
darkened harkening that
silently awaits me
the SIBYL'S SONG 