songbirds weave a tapestry of
sound across the morning
as sunlight penetrates the leaves…
a cool breeze lightly tiptoes across
the growing heat
and cars sound as ocean waves flowing…
in the distance dancing with birds are
the trees-
and sirens pepper the landscape
with urgency…
day is breaking on yet another morning-
breath flows within me like a sage
i am no longer living
but rather coming of age…
is there anything that can dull the pain
of slowly dying? at this rate
i will be gone before the songbirds
finish singing
and what will be left of me?
Tag: life lessons
would you go mad?
if we were all quiet,
just for a moment, the world
silenced… no words…no sound-
save that indescribable
white noise of buzzing energy…
would we hear the call of
our soul from within the ether,
and but for a moment,
find within it our own song
that might make clear our purpose
and release the banter that
drives us so to distraction?
or would we suffer at the empty
silence, grasping at the air for
release from the pain of nothingness
that would grip the heart, stripping it of
that which keeps blood flowing?
if but for within that single moment
when the world shut down all sound
would we find ourselves or
go extremely mad?
pricked and beautiful
spent time in my garden
now my hands are lined
with marks from thorns-
roses and raspberries
red and bleeding,
tracks left from nature’s
mighty protection …
i feel the lingering pain
and think of my heart throbbing
shredded and raw like my hands
from the love you gave me-
pricked and beautiful-
but so hurtful
overgrown
it’s just an emptiness that fills
the broken space within
darkness takes root in the cracks
and grows strong
soon these weeds will overrun
my garden
leaving no space for purple balloons
or forgetmenots
for low riding phlox or baskets of gold…
and i lack the strength to continue pulling
grasping at the never-ending tend
for the darkness is rooted within
so deeply that there is no
shovel that could dig out these roots
of overgrown memory
daughter
afraid to love you
fragile and special
like China you are to me
and I’m too rough to keep
you safe
i fear you might break in my hands
because i don’t know how to hold
you
my heart stays hidden from you
lest my darkness transfer…
you are so very special to me
bear
i felt the energy of the bear
today, strong tall and black
i could feel his eyes all over me
as if desiring to taste my skin
i let him close and felt his
tongue on my neck
as he smelled my hair
one step at a time
i am so scared
of finally learning the truth
of what lies inside me;
these memories fail-
recall doesn’t work and I try.
the mystery of my heart
it’s eating me up inside
i’m hiding like a child-
stuck in a closet with no door-
this maze of forgiveness…
hallways of my childhood
dark and scary, I run
and close my eyes…
anger blocks the way forward
still I try… one step at a time
two sides
peace what’s peace
but a false lie about what
we should have if we tried harder-
there’s no quiet…
the walls of the room are closing
around… chest tight throat closing
the sound of guitar masking the pain
feeling like a child on a rainy day
sun shining breeze through my hair
smile on my face
but what’s to be done when darkness
comes knocking at the door?
i run to answer it knowing that it’s an old friend
greetings and hugs- we get down to business
i’m simply sitting at odds….
two sides of me at once
peaceful happy smiling face and darkened brooding inside me
this heart
as the day slowly wanes
and sunlight softens behind
the clouds that cooled the heat
with welcome rain I think of
what my heart would say
if she could speak in a manner
i could fully understand
about our past together…
would she feel warm like I do now
under cover of billowing clouds
or would she hate, like I’ve learned
from pain…
i think my heart might like to sing
because my soul tells me that she’s
an actress
emptiness
this emptiness desires with
an unyielding passion
such that it would take a smile
and mistake it for flame…
a driving void of darkness descended,
voraciously eating any light that remains-
only to look to those dark illusions
to feed it more of the same…
distractions are a dangerous game
when emptiness sits
as the heart’s only companion
the SIBYL'S SONG 