this child haunts the halls
of your broken sight
always lost and losing
afraid to let people into
this darkness lest they find a light
and shine it on all the filth
that remains in this room of pain
there’s nothing there to steal
and you’ve left nothing to gain
your poison in my lungs
and your illusion for my brain
i will wait no longer for you though
falcon’s wings take me away
but in the end I will have you
and you will be asked to pay
Tag: lettinggo
silence
the breathe of life that
so smoothly glided from
your tongue to my heart
filled darkness with splashes
of light… vibrant colors
washed away these lines
of gray
and though the words you
spoke were also touched
with pain
i licked them all up with a fervency
matched only by the despair
of loneliness left by
the silence of your leaving
the fool
there was nothing there for me
when i looked into that
grand expanse
it was all just noise
and though i longed for some
great sage advice
that might lead me perhaps
to that which i seek
i sit in disappointment
because the darkness i so
wished to confront
was but my own echo
back at me
the frailty of life! what can release
the dull ache that lies just beneath
this exterior of cool?
perhaps it’s all just a fake
and I am the ultimate fool
mighty river’s flow
the tickling of rain, falling
against window glass lines my view
with streaks of fractured light
and broken sound…
the quiet death of suicidal
drops, colliding against clear
but solid- illusion…
how I feel for these lovingly mistaken
falling children of the clouds
oh that they should suffer
at my windowpane
without knowledge of the mistake
they are making in their falling…
and to see the love
my heart holds for you yet the same!
and decide rather to fall through trees
instead onto pane…
so that I might turn from that
which mirrors my descent and land
instead into the mighty river’s flow
vile hold
darkened squalor-
criss crossed and dirty;
these walls are lined
with your filth,
with your hatred and pain…
what can cure a heart of such
wretchedness-
of such unsanitary condition-
when you locked the door so long ago
and ate the key in your selfishness?
now bloated and rotting this chest
of mine waits for some divine
locksmith to find me
hiding within the stench
of your hatred
to release the vile hold
your disease has had over me
prison of heart
moments hang grossly upon the
thick and humid air,
memories
coded in sounds that dangle
furtively in front of me….
would that my fingers could pluck
these remembrances out of the ether
and objectively turn them
around and around
in my hand
until I could exact the last from them
and finally let them go…
alas, the night doesn’t allow for sleep
and the noise that plays
within my heart, taunting me,
escapes my grasp-
So I wait on the very edge of thought
For release
From the prison
that houses my heart
no reserve
Thoughts that from my heart
Drip slowly to the floor
Leave me standing in a puddle
Of tears and pondering
What is the leak that from my
Veins flow- this quiet of time,
That lingers now upon a dirty
Ground waiting for me?
And this smile fastened to my mouth
Would you see the false lips curve
Or kiss the frailty that collects now
At my feet?
Innocence has no reserve
For when this well runs dry,
what will remain to quench
This hurt?
burdens
would that i could cry tears of pain
from my soul
just to release the heavy water
that hangs my heart so low….
i would line the sky with thunder clouds
to let the heavens roar
and rain pour down- until this
sorrow was released
from the very depths of me…
Oh to be a cloud that could just let go-
these burdens- how they haunt me so
nothing is the same
swollen with the remnants of wine
from last night, this heavy head
moves through the morning slow
and uncertain
what was that you said? things aren’t
what they’ve seemed and your heart
isn’t as constant as you’ve led me to
believe…
the world is turning, and now i’m flipped
onto this aching head
left to make sense of all of this
while you quietly remove your heart
from the conversation…
fear invades the corners of my soul
i guess in the end i gave up control
nothing is the same anymore
fire of my eternity
the afternoon sun warms my foot as
my heel bobs up and down,
uncomfortably,
memory finds its way forward-
past moving through time
slow like sludge…. so begrudgingly…
small bits of a puzzle fit together
to form a larger picture of me…
and yet, I hate this digging
into history; would that I remain
stuck here in present frame
to suffer in darkness than to shed
light onto such lunacy and pain…
yet- to survive into an unknown
future the puzzle must complete
and when it does- i will burn it-
releasing all that was stored into
the ether… oh to shed the skin of
what was and be reborn!
so I sit with my own hot past
shaking, biting and scratching memories
out of the darkness and into the light
so I can fit them together
and let them go into the fire of my
eternity…
the SIBYL'S SONG 