it always seems to rain
when i ready my heart
to open-
such pain that pours from
the sky
leveling my mind
washing away all thought
but that which lingers now
of memory….
and where am i?
waiting for the heavens to clear
and the flood to drain
from the surface of my soul;
for i am nothing if not
consistent in this drowning
from my own sorrow
Tag: lettinggo
swim away
incomplete and flush with pain
the darkness in which
my feet toil and hands toil
creates waves of confusion
crashing inside a mind that
will not submit
and though i try to focus
this ball of energy, this life force,
that creates what I see and
what I know
i’m lost to the flame of insecurity
and unknown
there’s no quiet within my soul
with which to see the puzzle pieces
that comprise me
so falling beneath these moon swept
breakers of emotion
i suffer still, at the hands of a heart
too afraid to swim away
graveyard of memory
unopened doorways
harboring darkness and fear
outstretch whispers
calling to me-
it’s a graveyard of memory
that lingers within the deepest
corners of my hidden thought
binding me with secrets
untold and wistfully forgotten…
though the night weighs heavily
upon my soul
i hate more than i accept
and will not open that threshold
for fear of falling into the darkness
i lock inside there-
there’s no hope for letting go
and no resolve when i cannot
even acknowledge the lies
that so linger quietly within my heart…
truth within
these pieces of my heart fall
onto a puzzle board-
sorted by color and shape;
so as to be fit together
as my will allows…
digested upon visions
growing larger and more distinct
fill out my mind’s eye-
perhaps providing clarity
to pictures and sound…
lo that i am a somewhat tortured
soul
i would place these thoughts of myself
upon an altar of understanding
and allow what lingers as divine
within me to change what i know
to be
into what i see as truth within
eagles glide
standing upon this jagged
cliff
watching eagle wings glide
and water crash on rocks below me-
such that my entire body,
longing to fly,
ponders jumping from the very
edge at which I stand
and releasing my soul
back to the expanse of quiet
from which I became…
for the path where my feet
now find themselves
is sorrowful and full of pain-
i am lost to the clouds that
hover within my heart
and the wind that won’t silence
my mind
oh to be free from the shackles of
such life that binds me so
torment
quiet this mind-
this disease that’s spread
from room to room
within me…
tumor’s growth suffocates my
silence
demons dance upon my heart
laughing and joking…
as if my despair isn’t
pitiable enough- i am thrashed
by a mocking song of soul
that lingers upon my
shoulders like a wrath
skulking, sullen and cold
i am lost to the changing tides
of torment
and i don’t even know why
Dusk of love
your emotions are a black hole
they are always growing
in darkness
and never filled with
anything that resembles light,
eager to devour all that you see-
when your spinning emotional
avalanche falls upon me
i shudder in its wake…
And when you choose to share
your misery with others
all see you and despair
for your selfish heart is
full of only you
and no others
and all you can see is you
and your darkness
and i am tired of living in
the dusk of love
starlight dimming
expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
in the rain
I remember sitting under the bridge
In the rain
Your body pushed against me
As we smoked
The scent lingering on your lips
As we kissed
I felt alive next to you
And would have lost
Myself to your deep body
If you let me
oh great life!
Light blue sky
Flashes in my mind
As the strong winds of springtime
Air out this dusty heart…
And the open windows of my soul
Collect sounds of songbirds
Within the walls
And even the photographs
Are smiling…
What release can remove the darkness
Of the past and replace it
With such warm light?
Oh great life! Though I’ve doubted
Your love
I know you’ve always been just outside
Waiting for me to welcome you
the SIBYL'S SONG 