Tag: emotional fury

Illusions

i am but a ghost walking the halls
of my former life
without justice, without light;
all that was, is lost now
to the veil of illusion
that’s fallen from my eyes…
my whispers echo unheard
against the bare walls that
once held accomplishment
and pride…
nothing remains now but memory
of a me that was never real,
but lost inside a maze of falsehood
and pretend;
one can never measure up to what’s
never been there
and my heart, fearful and full of rage,
would take this image of myself
that it held to be true
and burn it into flame
and let the dust settle upon these empty
walls with hate filled shame

shirtsleeve

hidden emotions inconveniently
emerge upon this heart’s sleeve
throbbing , beating, bleeding
dripping away in a red
fury until all that can be seen
is this spot of fever
almost ancient in disease
there’s no hiding the swell,
the absolute certainty
that overtakes all else,
until what remains is but a
vision, a version, of self
doused in emotion’s flame
set on devouring itself…
this public display, this shirtsleeve,
this pain that cannot be helped
it’s never ending, never quiet, never
lost … but lingers still sometimes
hidden , sometimes for the world
to see, red and raw and ready
to bleed

without remorse

enflamed, destructive anger
burned the house of love
to the ground,
without remorse,
leaving the charred corpse of
compassion upon the floor…
this ever burning flame of
rage, that would take the
softest of feelings
and turn them into painful
blistering sores,
engulfs this soul with such
disgust that not even ash
remains

to touch the stars

It’s still dark yet- not quite dawn
And I can hear the song birds
Getting ready for the sun
And I know that you, well, you’re gone
It’s okay…
you weren’t really all that real anyway
More of a tune I made up in my head
A longing that you filled
Inside my heart- a sweet desperation
To touch the stars

deep and venerable pain

There lies just beneath my smile
A deep and venerable pain
That I can’t explain, or wish away-
I try to escape, into ideas and words
that might distract my brain,
But it’s always there, waiting for me
Like an ache that won’t release,
A knot in my chest with no relief,
So I sit here and pretend that
It’s all okay
It’s just a deep and venerable pain.

i am finished

~I am finished~

Hate floats below my smile,
masking deep pain boiling
just below my throat;

A line through time is binding;
each end a new beginning
held by two…

But where is my end? When do
I get to pull myself this way
And that?

The heart can only take so much
dissonance before it breaks open
and releases…

I am finished

no win win

~no win win~

There is no answer to this-
no win win
The die’s been cast and the last
person holding the hot potato loses…
Don’t know why it has come to this,
this incredible pain of recognition,
that all is lost…
That what was, truly is no longer,
and no amount of weeping will change
that reckoning for me

Would that i could release the past
and move with love into that uncertain future
But the hands that hold me to the present
are so strong that I cannot breathe,
none the less see…
So I remain stuck, still, waiting for your
grip upon my chest to lighten
so I can find release,
so that I can find a way free
from the pain and guilt that binds me