quiet this mind-
this disease that’s spread
from room to room
within me…
tumor’s growth suffocates my
silence
demons dance upon my heart
laughing and joking…
as if my despair isn’t
pitiable enough- i am thrashed
by a mocking song of soul
that lingers upon my
shoulders like a wrath
skulking, sullen and cold
i am lost to the changing tides
of torment
and i don’t even know why
Tag: dreaming
this white light
this mind of mine won’t stop spinning…
wondering…
hoping…
thinking that maybe all this
noise will eventually turn into
music or sound…
something that makes sense to me-
for all this- i’ve already heard,
but cannot grasp yet..
and the white light that
won’t let me sleep or dream-
would that it be removed from me
so that i can see this picture
that lingers on the outskirts
of my mind
when will the bells stop ringing?
when will the train pull into the station
and rest for a time?
oh i’m dreadful and tired
and i need your arms to hold mine
so i can sleep again
whirlwind of time and desire
would you mind closing your eyes
for a moment so i might
come in real closely to smell
the soft scent
of soap that lines your neck?
perhaps if you hold real still
you might feel my tongue
upon your skin as i taste
the sweat that’s forming
just below your chin
and oh, to feel your chest, rising
and falling like a balloon
hot and certain…
and would I fly away upon your lap
in a whirlwind of time
and desire
starlight dimming
expressionless longing
trapped within this molded heart
lies silently gazing across the stars
at what might have been
had you stayed…
had i remained….
and yet the blue night in which
this shining might brighten day
is but a mirage of time
for we are already dimming
thousands of years old-my love-
will still stay true…
even when i’m no longer me
and you cease to be you
unknown fear
the uncertainty with which
my feet step
line this path
with beating breast
and reflux…
alone with thoughts of what
may come
i hope for release from
this bellowing fear-
unknown possibilities
reflect back to me as I linger
at home waiting
for future’s tomorrow to take me
an empty plate
staring at an empty plate
not sure what to do with it-
the longer i look at the clean
appearance
the more i want to drown it
in food
and forks
and I long to taste what might
cover the soft flowers
and devour that which lines
the center
and oh, perhaps you too
might undress yourself so quietly
so i might cover your outer corners
with sustenance and longing
you are my appetite
fueled and filled and quieted
by sweet resolve
in the rain
I remember sitting under the bridge
In the rain
Your body pushed against me
As we smoked
The scent lingering on your lips
As we kissed
I felt alive next to you
And would have lost
Myself to your deep body
If you let me
oh great life!
Light blue sky
Flashes in my mind
As the strong winds of springtime
Air out this dusty heart…
And the open windows of my soul
Collect sounds of songbirds
Within the walls
And even the photographs
Are smiling…
What release can remove the darkness
Of the past and replace it
With such warm light?
Oh great life! Though I’ve doubted
Your love
I know you’ve always been just outside
Waiting for me to welcome you
on a walk
bees hover just so slightly
over the waving grasses dotted with
small white wildflowers swaying,
breathing, as the wind blows…
and these giant feet of mine
are careful not to step upon a bee
or butterfly
and disrupt the flow of this
waving dancing ecosystem…
just a giant walking
as the air sweeps my hair back
and hips sway
prison of mind
I dug a hole
The soil was dark and wet
I could smell the musty earth
Under my fingers, on my clothes
Covering my knees..
Perhaps someday I will lie inside
This muddy hole and let the world
Drift by… though I hold no false
Hope for me..
Oh that ends could be so easy!
I would drift into the rain swept sky
Releasing all the world ever taught
Me to believe
Alas I’m still here, covered now in
This musty earth, waiting for a time
When my heart, strong and hard,
Might deign to release
Me from this prison
Of mind
the SIBYL'S SONG 