There are lights on the porch
across the street-
I can see them glowing outside my window,
softly,
reminding me of lightening bugs
I used to try to catch
as they flashed through
childhood summer evenings
Oh the cruelty of youth!
bottling up such wondrous bugs
so that they might lighten up
the darkened places within my soul-
Alas, nothing of that light remains
as I stare nostalgically
down and across the road
at electric lights that softly glow
Oh that I dream of you
as soft wind flows
over mountainsides in early morning-
Your embrace, a ribbon of light
through my valleys…
Rivers flow with your words of love
that snake slowly down my body;
And as you lie here,
across my grassy plains,
I become one with you dreamily-
Your Softly rolling kisses blow through time
and I linger with your lips close to mine-
My Sweet lover of land and sky
Between the inhale and the exhale
Lies the holy holy
A silent elixir of eternity
Would that I linger in that quiet darkness
To find riddles answered
And my heart consumed
oh! but for a moment,
to reach such eternity
and breath as one with divine
Like heart shaped clouds floating by
You and I were simply passing
Touching softly in the summer
A piece of your white air
Linked inexplicably to mine
As we floated on
And I let you go as you moved along
On your way to some other destination
Rainbows I found within you-
And the formation of dark storms
But I always kept a bit of your cloud in mine
As memoirs of our fading
The dark of my room
takes me back to you….
I cannot help but remember
your breath on my breast,
the feel of your touch on my leg,
the way you whispered nothing
in my ear so that my body
quivered instead…
but you, you’re lost,
and I am still hanging
onto these thoughts…of you-
in the dark of my room
I once thought that your fire
would burn within me like blaze,
un-contained,
and I longed to be scorched by that energy;
and now that the flames of your fire,
are but smoke in my hand,
i understand you were simply, a ruse,
to which my own power was surrendering
You buried your face in my hair
and told me it smelled of leather;
your hands searched my fingers
and the lines of my waist
holding on as if this one time
was the last time
you would touch me…
and I decided to let you in
because the fire in your heart
burned an imprint of your energy
upon my soul
morning glory vines
fed by an outcry of emotional discontent
climb, wind and stretch
to find the light that lingers within
the power of my own intuition..
and its this longing for clarity
that allows emotions to quietly strangle
that which they strive to emulate
oh! that i could allow feelings a safe
place to wind towards the light
that would not sacrifice the voice
within me that might lead me towards
a greater fate….
acid running through my mind
trying so desperately to hide
from the things you did, from the ledge
i stood, from the place i slid
from the callous use you made of me
the way you took, and i couldn’t grieve
because i didn’t know
that you were wrong, i simply believed
that it must be me
so I took the drug, and hid from all
the unhappy memories
i set up walls, and bridges to fortify me
but it didn’t work, and i was lost
and i’m still reeling from the lack you
caused…
it seems to me
that every time i look for myself
i get caught staring into the mirror
of another
as if their eyes are deeper than mine
as if their lips are fuller
and their lines are finer
and I wonder why the reflection
that is my own
is not enough for me
the SIBYL'S SONG 