the chaos that lies within me
burns for more of my heart-
it’s a fire fueled by emotion
and lines like flowers upon the
fields of my past.
i yearn for more, not knowing
that these poppies are poison
and my heart, though innocent yet,
doesn’t know how to remain
in the stillness of my moments
without some tumult
to turn the focus upon its head…
for too long this soul has nurtured
chaos as a friend, afraid to live
within the silence that would
bring upon me all that’s been done-
too fearful to look, to face the past,
i linger within my self made prison instead
hoping that one day change
might find this heart and still
the fires within my breast
Author: Erin Touponse
reiki master/teacher, poet, spiritualist, child of the stars
a lonely chest
this breathe of life that sustains
my soul upon the plain of
earthly understaning
brings strength to my resolve…
turning from change
my eyes try so hard to see
beyond the words that lie
quietly in front of me-
but there’s no resisting the
inevitably of this transitioning;
lost to these changing tides
i swim against the grain, to find
my heart and pull it closer,
for nothing comes from a lonely
chest but pain
halls of time
there’s nothing left for me
to give of myself,
but blood and time…
as this life force drips slowly
into the abyss
i am lost within
these passageways of mine;
screaming down empty halls
hoping to find answers to the
riddles that plague my mind…
turning still, into nothing, floating
like dead leaves upon autumnal
breeze what will come of me now?
with this slow ticking
reminding me of passing time
i am nothing but a lost soul
looking for answers; and finding
none to be had
i’m guided by my own lonely echoes
colliding through the halls of time
i trust my path
butterflies pound my stomach
with wings of steel
fluttering at all hours…
sleepless and full of these
busy, busy, flying beauties
of change,
i turn my eyes to the heavens
to find mercy-
for within the growing clamor
of uncertainty
i believe that hope and light
will change me too-
and provide steel wings for which
i can fly
away from here and to a new
destination
i trust my path….
Fool
i sit with a sword dangling
over my head-
it’s hard to get used to,
this death that hovers
all hours of the day and night,
reminding me that life-
fleeting as it may be-
is not to be trifled with….
and though i try to make friends
with this machine of death
that wishes to be released into
my head,
I know that it is simply silent
because it’s doing what it does best
and i am more than fool for it.
hope
so thankful
blessed
forgiven
loved
reunited
faithful
all these things
dropping in
fullness from
my heart
as my face
peers into
the vast
abyss with
hope
Letting go
i shrug the night from
my shoulders
looking instead to what burns
bright upon the morning-
losing, leaving behind,
letting go
these pieces of past
that lingered like broken glass
upon the road-
my feet are free from those bits
of memory that dogged them so…
yet, while the sun may rise again
into this unfolding path of light,
i remain still within the quiet
of what held me fastened,
to appreciate the beauty
that resides within the painful
lessons leveraged upon
my soul
and just for a moment i find
that peace
in accepting it all
and letting go
Illusions
i am but a ghost walking the halls
of my former life
without justice, without light;
all that was, is lost now
to the veil of illusion
that’s fallen from my eyes…
my whispers echo unheard
against the bare walls that
once held accomplishment
and pride…
nothing remains now but memory
of a me that was never real,
but lost inside a maze of falsehood
and pretend;
one can never measure up to what’s
never been there
and my heart, fearful and full of rage,
would take this image of myself
that it held to be true
and burn it into flame
and let the dust settle upon these empty
walls with hate filled shame
oh, this anger…
i would bring this roof of folly down
upon my head, before i bent my knee
again…
you are a joke hiding inside a person
hoping that you won’t be discovered
as the fool you are
there is nothing i would like more
than to laugh at your pain
as you sit, confused, trying to
understand why you failed… yet again…
you stupid, stupid excuse
for someone who cares… i would
rather watch you burn
inside your own lies and buffoonery
than piss on your burning body
to put you out….
revenge
i wear hate like a weapon, tied
at my waist
consuming each step with depth
and purpose
would that I could burn this absurdity
to the ground, and dance upon
the ashes of what remains
with laughter on my voice
and darkness in my heart
oh anger, my deepest ally
my darkest asset
this stirring creates such pain
within my soul
and yet, i cling to you now as breath
to a newborn child
as revenge weighs heavily upon
my chest
the SIBYL'S SONG 