This fear sits in my belly
And boils
Turning my lunch upside
Down and inside out

It blocks my eyes so
I can only see it
Like a jilted lover
Or an old friend

And I long to be rid
Of this pain ; this
Poisonous feeling of fear
That hovers.

But there is no escaping
My gut of what it knows-
I am not good enough
For peace



deep and unforgotten pain
crawls up my chest
as the guilt of my actions weighs
upon my heart, heavily

this slithering feeling of regret
winds its way, like vines,
into my heart, choking the light
from my soul

there is no relief from the dark
and solid night that lines my chest,
my body, and my mind
…a woe-begotten life….

I keep looking for a lining
that might make the clouds not seem
so bleak to me
but guilt is bedfellow

not to be taken lightly….

tearful stains

~tearful stains~

i long to hold you; your heart
in my arms and comfort
your fears away

I long to feel you within me-
your love and understanding;
washing my pain away

I long for you; as i miss
you, i miss that part of you
that resides within me

an eternity of why
upon my mind, rests so heavily,
so impassioned and desolate

i lift my head to the stars
with hope of a new day in my heart
that someday smiles might…
…wash away tearful stains

a destiny yet

~a destiny yet~

I would know you anywhere;
and remember you anytime;
there is no time or space
that could keep my heart
from recognizing yours…

within me is a vast knowing
of what has been
and i am finding knowledge
in what may be
my consolation… to my desolation

faith is a long word
with short letters
and I will find that within me
to continue on the path i am asked
now to walk down… in love

I will keep my memories
and my desires
close to me as I linger on the edges
waiting for a destiny
that is yet to be found…

in my thoughts tonight

~In my thoughts tonight~

The half smile that lines your lips
-warning others to take care;
The way you absently run your
Fingers through your hair;
Your escaping laugh
That i would know anywhere;
Love’s sweet blush that you hide
to protect your heart from
the darkness you believe lies there.

Demons linger within the shadows
Of what you believe you lack
And love’s dear whisper, silenced,
By the pain of what you bare.
The haunting steps of empty streets
Long forgotten now, but heavy yet
With deep promises and pacts
What darkness dwells when light’s
Cast disappears?

… I feel you always near..
The star that shines within you is real

I long to touch the deep and rolling
Waters that flow within
A soulful mix of fancy and whim
Would that I could quench the pain
that hovers just above the din
And call you to shed the past
And learn how to forgive,

and learn once again how to live.

remembered fragrance

~remembered fragrance~

All things have turned
And what once lingered as pain
Within my heart has now blossomed
Into a white rose; the smell of which
Clings upon my soul

The deluge of rain poured upon me
Fostered fertility of spirit-
A soil in which to grow;
And allowed healing of my heart
And space for truth to flow

I long with wonder now
At which way I am to go
But understand that it’s in the walking
That I can find my way
Back home.

This remembered fragrance
My solitary Rose
It guides me like a angel to
The places within my heart
That I have always known