in my thoughts tonight

~In my thoughts tonight~

The half smile that lines your lips
-warning others to take care;
The way you absently run your
Fingers through your hair;
Your escaping laugh
That i would know anywhere;
Love’s sweet blush that you hide
to protect your heart from
the darkness you believe lies there.

Demons linger within the shadows
Of what you believe you lack
And love’s dear whisper, silenced,
By the pain of what you bare.
The haunting steps of empty streets
Long forgotten now, but heavy yet
With deep promises and pacts
What darkness dwells when light’s
Cast disappears?

… I feel you always near..
The star that shines within you is real

I long to touch the deep and rolling
Waters that flow within
A soulful mix of fancy and whim
Would that I could quench the pain
that hovers just above the din
And call you to shed the past
And learn how to forgive,

and learn once again how to live.

remembered fragrance

~remembered fragrance~

All things have turned
And what once lingered as pain
Within my heart has now blossomed
Into a white rose; the smell of which
Clings upon my soul

The deluge of rain poured upon me
Fostered fertility of spirit-
A soil in which to grow;
And allowed healing of my heart
And space for truth to flow

I long with wonder now
At which way I am to go
But understand that it’s in the walking
That I can find my way
Back home.

This remembered fragrance
My solitary Rose
It guides me like a angel to
The places within my heart
That I have always known



i feel your arms around me
as your energy circles my body
and your light invades
my dark places

I sense your near me
and my skin tingles
and my heart sings
and my body releases

i long for your arms to be around me
and your body to hold me close
and your breath on my neck
and your essence in my soul

how i miss you! how i long for you!
how i dream of you!
…and your lack in my life
…and your light gone from me

and now i feel you close
like there’s no separation between us
and I love you…and feel you…


sweet retreat

smoke, dancing in your hand,
pulls me back to a time
simple and free
-though seemingly not then…

now i long for those days; when
sun rose behind the trees at dawn
and set while the moon’s shine glowed
and all was constant with peace

my star, shining within darkened nights,
lights my way no more..
not because I don’t want it, but because
life’s dull blade cut it out

and i am dead….

lost to a world of pain, and shame
and guilt…fearful of what may be
and what is never to be
and what is longing anyway

but hunger in my soul….

bedfellows of grief
haunt my dreams and line my waking steps
with dis-ease
i call out for release; there is no relief

so i hunger here… alone… waiting for sweet retreat

from inside

i am giving up everything for a dream
of something more
and i don’t know if that which is more
is worth the price i will pay
to find it…

i am falling under the weight of my heart
and pain pulsates throughout my body
leaving me panicked and stricken
by doubt and fear
…I am beside myself

tears cloud my vision of the future
and pain of the past lingers
upon my shoulders like black smoke
I am utterly fallen into despair
and I have nothing left

desolate and alone
I long for more time to decide…and try
and the pain that pricks my heart
is like poison
devouring me from inside



when all is stripped away
there is nothing left but that
which lingers underneath

pain and fear once hidden
by uncertain smiles, and beguiling
thoughts of truth

are now laid bare for all to see;
the taste of metal haunting
the heart with bitterness and cold

as bottom falls through top,
the world turns upon its axle,
shifting all that is known into not

and i linger here too
awaiting truth to find my soul
and set it free from such dark misery

there is nothing left for me here
but to find the fate that draws me
near; and receive my judgement


i’ve given up everything to find myself
and yet…
i still know not where i am….

I keep repeating the same mistakes
thinking i might be found within another…
within easy eyes… and lies

Yet, this longing that pulls me
from what is safe… from that which i know…
it launches me to new heights

so i let go….

over and over again
i leave what i understand
to find something that will help me grow

but i am tired now of waiting
and praying… and suffocating